Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Deciding to move from public to private

I have read this forum often and thankful to have now joined. I have three DD who are all in public school, two are in the GT program and the other is just as bright, but not necessarily a kid who would fit into the program.

My youngest is in 2nd grade and does not turn 8 until June so is definitely one of the younger ones. She started reading at 4.5, has a memory that is shocking, can carry on conversations that make you forget she is just a kid, is a natural athlete. Most people describe her as unique, the real deal in terms of being very well rounded. We had her tested at the end of kinder and she is highly intelligent.

Her kinder teacher set up a separate area of the class for her and she was a big help with the other kids. It gave her tremendous confidence and she reveled in being the smartest. First grade she figured out getting attention by being good did not work with that teacher and started acting out. She really learned nothing all year. She also was separated from her BFF and the little group of 2 became 3. That worked last year, but this year she is being left out and is devastated by it.
As for school, this year is not much better. My dd says she is bored, often does not turn in homework and has such a change in attitude from prior years. The teacher is rigid which is fine, but very by the rules. I have met with her twice to seek help to engage my DD, give consequences, etc. but nothing has changed. She is in the GT program, but it is a pull out and only is a few times a week.
My dh and I went to see a child therapist that one of my other daughters has used and she agreed that she might be depressed and after further discussion, agreed that a change of school might be good for her.
Curious how those of you out there have dealt with highly intelligent children in a tough school dilemma.

Thank you in advance!

My DD9 has shocking memory, early reader, you forget her age when you're talking to her, often described as unique, creative...school has been a huge "bear" all along!

As far as school is concerned, she has had changes from private pre-K to public, to homeschooling, back to public in a new district, then to private. She is an "uneven" gifted though, we are still working on finding out if she has other exceptionalities that she must compensate for that cause fatigue and dancing around issues especially now writing as the grades get higher, that can look like arguing or avoiding.

Alot of it comes down to the individual teacher and if there are problems, the flexibility of the principal to accelerate/move classrooms, etc. I've found that consistency and fairness is very important but not rigidity - it just doesn't work with these kids.

If you're going to a private school do you have ones to choose from? Could your DD shadow or go to open houses? Then you could see the interaction between child and environment and adults.

Whatever the outcome, it's always better to try to make things better than not try anything at all.

Finally, if you're not doing this already I would make sure your DD has things outside of school that she gets positive feedback for (classes at museums, parks&Rec, dancing, art, music, sports) I think for my DD the troubles and the changes could have had a much worse affect on her if she didn't have a steady stream of alternative feedback/experiences that have balanced it out.

A change of schools can be huge! But it honestly doesn't matter if it's another public or if it's a super expensive private or if it's a charter school... the key is finding a school where YOUR child fits. A school that is willing to take the time to understand your child and help them.

To me, the red flag is that this teacher is so rigid. That's pretty much a disaster waiting to happen for my DD8, who you could have easily been describing.

There's a reason why these kids are referred to as exceptional. This teacher might believe that all kids need to be working at the same pace, but your DD is an exception. She may believe that all kids need to drill repetitively, but your DD is an exception. So yeah, if your DD was constantly subjected to rules and processes in which she saw no value, I'd be surprised if she didn't rebel. I'd expect it in mine.

Change of school is very critical thing to do.Actually a critical analysis should do before making decision.From management perspective the strengths and weaknesses can helpful to make a better decision.

Thank you all for your comments. I met with her teacher today. I told her about that my dd might be a little depressed and gave a few examples of what we see. Her response was that she would have had no idea had I not mentioned it. Really? Frustrating because she obviously knows little about gifted education that she is supposed to be a specialist in.
We are headed to a private school next week. Classes are smaller, school as a whole is smaller so undoubtedly she would get more needed attention.
Such tough decisions!