Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to challenge the perfectionist?

FWIW with my DD last year (when she was age 8) I started moving away from anything brainy-related to work on perfectionism. My thinking is that there is just too much 'stuff' around them with smarts and school and performance...it's more pressure. So I migrated to following through on things like cooking/baking, home responsibilities (including taking care of pets) anything that has to be finished to 'survive' so to speak. Today we worked on shoveling the driveway and not giving up until certain sections were done and done properly. She jokingly says she's my "indentured servant". I say because I care about her when she's "released from the contract" at age 18 she needs to have life skills to survive in the world, education included but also taking care of herself and home etc. and understanding how things work (earning money and paying for things, not taking things for granted).

She wants to learn how to knit and a lady at the library does free classes. We'll start next week one weekday a week. This will be a huge challenge for her since she has so many challenges with coordination and fine motor skills, but I have a feeling it will be really good for her. She really gets delighted when she conquers something really concretete... ignoring the drama you have to get through to get to the sucess!

Sometimes we under estimate the reasoning and intelligence of our own gifted children. I often found that honest discussion about such topics as what learning is and what it takes to do so can have a great effect. Helping them to understand that the greatest strides in learning are often accompanied by a certain level of frustration, that real self confidence comes from not just success but a struggle leading to success (give them examples they can relate to) and that in reality, our biggest competition is indeed ourselves helps them to analyse on their own why they won't push themselves.