Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Piano?

I don't know about the rest of your post, but I had to weigh in to say that this is totally not true. I switched from saxophone to bassoon in the 9th grade, at the band teacher's request, and it took all of two weeks for me to be better at the new instrument than I'd been at the one I'd been playing for five years.

I also know little of music and DS7 may or may not take up music. It seems that practice of a sort aimed towards performance may be useful for a large percentage of people. But drill down depth first learning is not the best approach for all people. If she is oriented towards music in a very creative way, and she is an exploratory learner, then I'd think trying a wide variety of different instruments and playing many different pieces would be the best way to go.

Personally, I don't learn things by repitition of the same. I learn by doing a wide and changing variety of things. People learn to write by reading and writing a lot, but not typically the same things in perpetuity. It's almost an inverse where for a small percent of creative writers perfecting one piece is epiphanic for them. When it is art like writing, the outside driver to success is not a teacher, but a mentor.

So, continuing your theme, maybe what you need is not a violin teacher but rather a music mentor; someone who is oriented towards music creatively.

Hello! I went through this with my two sons. I feel your pain! I solved the problem by easing up on theory and playing "contest" pieces. Their piano teacher knew she was going to lose them if we didn't figure out something quick, so the remedy was to have them choose and play whatever they wanted with no restrictions. Sometimes they choose to read notes but sometimes they will choose to play by ear or even add on their own "twist" The fun came back! They now only choose all of the "popular" songs you hear on the radio No more Bach or Beethoven Lol (at least not yet) They also started composing their own pieces. I'm happy to say the joy of playing piano is back! Good luck!

Personally I think that teacher is nuts - it makes no sense! If that were true, then every musician who's played more than one instrument would have to have started studying the extra instruments before age 11?

I played clarinet in our school band from 5th-10th grade, then got a bit bored with clarinet and wanted to play sax in the jazz band. I took private lessons for just a few months and everything I had learned from playing clarinet made it easy to pick up another instrument quickly, and I was in jazz band the next year. I also picked up flute the same way the year after.

There are soooo many violin players in school. Bass is a very cool instrument! I hope your dd has a chance to learn it

polarbear

I agree about letting the child choose what they play.
DS4 started at barely 3, they took him because he could read well, had amazing eye hand coordination and long fingers. He has done amazingly well and has a wonderful creative teacher who keeps him on his toes. Right now she makes a lot of the work about super heroes! Before that it was little Einsteins, dinosaurs etc.
DS can now totally sight read music and the themed practice is fun. I suppose
If a teacher was willing she could find something to motivate an older child.
A Julliard graduate has offered to teach DS when he turns five. He says he'll make it fun too!

I agree with others, this is absolutely nuts. In fact, my daughter's middle school band teacher has been actively encouraging some of the kids to switch instruments to fill in some needs. One of DD's good friends recently switched from clarinet to oboe and is coming up to speed quickly. Others have switched to baritone and tuba with similar positive results. My nephew switched from saxophone to bassoon when he started high school. As a junior, he is now playing bassoon with a university-level wind ensemble.

Maybe the teacher has another agenda, i.e. he/she only has one bass to lend out? I wouldn't let the teacher's comments hold your DD back from making a switch if that is what she wants to do.

The more I read through these responses, the more I'm leaning towards the idea that these kids are resistant to practice because the teaching method is, for them, every bit as inappropriate as a normal classroom setting for math or reading. Seems rather self-evident when you phrase it that way, doesn't it?

I think I'm going to revisit the approach for my DD and guitar. Rather than focus on repetition and skill acquisition, I should just focus on teaching her the concepts, then let her run with them however she likes. After all, that's the learning mode I adopted for myself.

Good point, Dude. I'm going to have some of this discussion with his piano teacher. My husband has convinced me to keep him in lessons, that we'll regret it if we pull him out now. I'm still not sure but that's how we are proceeding. He wants me to "let it go" and that is very, very hard. I don't know how to continue without getting more stressed about it. This morning, during son's piano time, he curled up in my bed, hid under the blankets and refused to come out. So, I said "I don't like it when you behave this way. I expect better of you" and walked out. Same thing when it was horn time. Then, it was time to get up and finish getting ready for school and I kept having to tell him every five minutes to get ready. So, off he went, without his teeth brushed, without his library book (due today), and without his medicine.

I don't understand this kid at all.

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions, advice, and stories. It all helped me think things through and, although I'm not sure about the decision we made, at least it had some thought and wasn't an emotional reaction. We'll proabably take the summer off from piano.

Petunia, I've been astonished at how well using "playing" as a reward for technique practice has worked.

We're into this several weeks now, and DD isn't really "practicing" any more than she ever did, but she is PLAYING more, which means that her practice is far more effective. She doesn't actually need to practice something hundreds of times to master it. Only dozens.

I think that this has always been the disconnect for her- how on earth to actually fill an hour (or even 20 minutes) with four or five things that each take up only 2-3 minutes. The idea of actually playing them again and again for forty minutes is horrifying to her, and it serves no rational purpose that she can see.

Given the freedom to just "play" during that time each morning, though...

We've had the best luck circumventing her obstinance about things that we as her parents feel are important habits/activities by couching it in honest terms-- we are wanting her to establish HEALTHY HABITS.

Walking her dog each day, rain or shine is: a) responsibility whether she feels like it or doesn't, and b) regular exercise is healthy, but mostly c) exercise is one of the best COPING skills for stress that exists.

Music is another one of those healthy "coping" strategies that doesn't rely on anyone else, and can be used to 'work through' emotional upsets and even used as an effective escape from problems that we can't solve.

Those coping strategies are particularly important for kids who are outside of the majority of any population distribution in some way, because they have to learn to live in a world that is OFTEN out of synch with them. That's a constant stressor. It becomes even more critical if the child in question has emotional OE's, since they will have all the more "stuff" to work through as a result.

In leveling with our DD about WHY we make some of the parenting decisions that we do, and asking her to trust us, we gain a lot more cooperation from her.