Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Does "Love and Logic" work with gifted children

Not sure if this was really a L&L approach or not, but this morning we told the girls if they could get ready for school without any of the typical morning drama (bickering, wasting time, etc.)then we would do something extra-special as a family tonight. It worked - my morning was stress free!!! Guess this confirms to us as parents that our time is worth more to our children than probably anything else. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I would gladly give them more time in exchange for less drama in the house! Now lets see how long I can get this to last.

lol, too true, I guarantee DS 30 minutes of play time a night with him and I. On the odd occasion he won't listen or such, I only have to tell him I am buying back time of mine he is using now from our playtime.

Well, perhaps I'm jaded from thirteen years of life with one of these kids without any apparent levers... but at least at my house, I'd not assume that this was because I'd found her currency. Though, to be fair, I used to think that.

I'd be so hopeful when I would try something and it would.... WORK!!! (Hurray, right? Meh... not so much, actually.)

Rather, I'd probably chalk it up to "oooooo--- SHINY" since pretty much ANY new strategy that we try works. At least once, I mean-- but generally no more than three times. Almost all keys seem to be single-use with this particular child.

Yes. The whole premise of the book Hold on to your Kids is that all the good things we want spring from what we invest in the relationship. That sounds so obvious...but it is really worth reading. I spent years thinking that I could get the desired results from a sort of behaviorist approach, telling myself that what worked for dolphins at Sea World should work on my kids. Not so much.

Well, it does work with people, too. I know a few trainers.

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Shoot-Dog-Teaching-Training/dp/1860542387

But nothing is perfect either. Animals and people have personalities and sometimes you can't reach them.

And kids are still growing so you have to adjust as they adjust.

We use the LL approach with Mr W and it works 95% of the time. The other 5% we have to resort to loss of privileges and one day we had to resort to spanking.

My copy of Transforming the Difficult Child came in yesterday. What little I've had time to read sounds similiar to parts of the L&L approach. Hopefully I can find time to finish reading it and if it sounds like something that will work for us, maybe get started implementing it over the holidays.