Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Feeling conflicted. Thoughts?

So, I know I've posted a bunch about my ds5 in kindergarten. We have a parent, teacher, student conference Thursday morning per teacher's request, and honestly I'm at a loss. My ds is bored in school and not challenged. Some behavior problems, but besides 1 incident not too bad. His complaints about school are down to 2-3x/ week. I think he may be accepting things. He begs to learn with me at home- which I do.
I'm not quite sure what to say to his teacher. For example, in math today, ds was asked to do a packet of pages with objects to color on each page. He was supposed to count the object and fill the number in the blank of the sentence (there is 1 red apple.), then color the picture and rewrite the sentence. Really? I keep asking the same questions about harder work, but the teacher says ds is working on writing a sentence (capital, all the words, and punctuation). Ok, but can he do this with harder material?
I plan to ask if he can start taking AR tests after he reads a book. But other than that I'm not sure what to say. I think his teacherthinks things are fine even though she admits he knows the information. I spoke last week to ds preschool who also lives in the same school district and has kids about what she thought. The one thing she repeated in the conversation is ask how the teacher uses map scoring to differentiate his learning with specifics. I think it sounds like a good question, but I'm not sure how to ask it without offending the teacher. Also, I am wondering if I need to meet with the principal to discuss what to do with/ for ds. I don't know what else to ask for. I feel like I'm talking to the wall when I talk to the teacher. I certainly don't want to make enemies, but I want my ds to like school. Part of me is feeling like I should give up for this year, continue afterschooling, and hope for a better year next year. Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance.

Don't give up! Do you have any examples of his work at home? If so, bring them and show the teacher. Stay on her. Bring her workbooks that are at his level for him to do in class. Don't let him learn, like my son did, that school is just for 'telling people stuff you already know.' It leads no where good.

I'm not in a district that uses MAP testing, but I think I understand enough for this question here.

If I were in your position, I would ask the teacher: What were his MAP scores? What does the score means relative to the kindergarten curriculum? Given these data, what's happening in the classroom so that he makes a year's worth of growth this year?

It can be a data-driven conversation, and it puts her in the position of explaining what it means to you. You will be well served if you can get the MAP scores before the meeting and get a sense of where that puts him relative to typical kindergarteners. Ask the questions anyways, and have her walk you through them. When I approach things in this way, I find that I rarely have to get to my third question above because if I sit back and let the teacher keep talking about what the scores mean, they will often come around to "well, of course, I'll be doing x, y, and z to keep Johnny moving forward from this point."

To clarify: Ds reading map score was 169, 99% and math was high 150's 93% . Testing was in August. Will test again end of November.
Thanks for the encouragement/ thoughts epoh and geofizz!

I would also point out the positives to the teacher. "I love that he is practicing writing, fine motor skills only improve with practice!" "DS comes home and wants to learn more!"
Let her know what you like about what you don't like before you go into what you see him needing.

Ok, parent/ teacher/ student conference today. It was exactly what I thought. The teacher asked my ds5 if he thought he was learning with her? Well, what do you think he said? Yes. Did she really think that a 5 year old would tell her that he was bored to tears (atleast a people pleasing 5 yr old)? I mean the minute we walked in, ds pulled his shoulders up and put a smile on his face.
So, now I will have to email her again (with the help of my dh because I am very annoyed). I have come to one realization, this fight has no end, maybe some years might easier if the teacher "gets him"; but I have to advocate for my ds. He deserves that atleast.
Thanks for letting me vent. Is it bad that I am hoping my ds2 is average?
Melessa

Checking in on you....so sorry the meeting didn't seem to go well. Were you able to raise any concerns despite her flawed line of questioning? Btw, I have an EXTREME people-pleaser in my ds. What's your plan for the email?

I know one thing with my dd2.5 - I'm thrilled that she's a spring baby and at least we don't have to deal with being the youngest or oldest.

Evemomma-
My plan is this (just spun nicer as my dh can do well): did she achieve what she had hoped from the meeting? That he was not completely honest with her. During the question of learning, she prefaced the question with I know when you're in independent study, it's review; but do you learn when you're in my group? So, why does the work need to be a review in independent study? Can I send in some worksheets he can work on that are topic relevant?
I did ask if he can start taking AR tests on the books he reads, which she said yes- during independent reading. I am also thinking of asking if writing a 2-3 sentence summary or picture with written description summary would be something he could do if he was done. However, the teacher reprimanded him for rushing through work "as if it were a race", thus the work was more messy. Maybe if the worked asked wasn't sooo simple, he would work harder?
One funny thing is the teacher keeps telling me everything she's doing in math to differentiate- now add/ subtract 2 2 digit numbers. Ok- great. But why can't she appropriately differentiate language arts? Everything I've read around here says usually that's the easy part to get. My ds isn't even "mathy". His strength is language- both English and Spanish.
I also plan to tell her some of the latest comments he tells me from school. Like "all the book I read at school are so small and easy". I did request repeating the Star test. Teacher said yes in 2 weeks (next week is book fair).
We'll see. I'm sure this teacher hates me, but I plan to continue on. Btw, she mentioned that she knew I emailed with the gifted coordinator (who told me to talk to teacher and teacher told me to talk to gc). I said yes that I thought it was funny they both told me to talk to the other. I kind of dropped it, because my ds was right next to me!
Anything else I should say?

master of none- thank you. I know I need help in sounding nice when I am mad/ annoyed. (My dh is much better at this and will help.) Thanks for the interesting idea of somehow making things more positive. I am open to all advice as ds5 is my eldest child. Thus, I have zero experience.