Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Mysterious school problem

6 yo dd is in 1st grade. She is currently in a regular classroom, and the GT program starts next year in 2nd.

A few days ago dh was volunteering in class and said that when the teacher asked the kids to raise their hands if they knew the answer to her question. Everybody but dd raised their hands. Teacher asked dd if she knew the answer, dd says yes, and gives the answer. But she still doesn't seem to raise her hand in class, even in situations like this. At carpet time dd sits in the very back on the end and daydreams. She has flat out told me that she daydreams in school b/c she is bored. She has also told me that the teacher takes too long to explain things.

Today I had a meeting with her teacher. The teacher also wanted me to bring the psych's test results and report so she could fill out the teacher recommendation for the GT application.

The teacher tells me that dd isn't doing as well in math as she would expect. That she has to sometimes help dd in math to comprehend a concept. Something as simple as hopping on a number line. I'm really baffled by this. Especially when she tells me they just had an assessment on telling time with half-past and that dd missed 2 out of 4. Yet, the night before the assessment dd did her math homework about this concept 100% independently and got it completely right. This isn't the first time where dd has shown contradictory performance. Dd will do her homework the night before with absolutely no help, get it all right, and then the teacher will tell me that she needs reinforcement with the skill.

I'm truly baffled and frustrated by this. Especially my 3rd grade dd will ask my 6 yo dd for the answers to her 3rd grade math homework.

I know the psych said that when she watched dd during the WISC testing dd would answer impulsively, and that she performed better when the psych didn't let dd know she was being watched. This is in the report. Dd is very quiet in class, doesn't talk, won't communicate with the teacher, won't speak up unless she has too. She is very reserved in class and the teacher even said "She's a tough cookie to crack".

We are both brainstorming and trying to come up with ideas as to why dd is underperforming. My thoughts were possibly that she is anxious and answering impulsively, perhaps she is daydreaming and then when called on she misses the answer b/c she wasn't paying attention, or perhaps she is dumbing down. I'm also worried if the teacher isn't going to give a good recommendation for dd for the GT class.

Fwiw the teacher doesn't see/grade the homework, her assistant does that.

The teacher should at least be aware of the feedback on learning the homework demonstrates, at least if you request her to look into it! My first guess is boredom and then the inattention leads to missing stuff. It sounds like she's decided school is not worthwhile, she's checking out... And maybe some performance anxiety. I would advocate for meeting her needs. Good luck!

My niece apparently has an issue that seems similar--reportedly she will not answer questions in class unless she is completely certain she knows the correct answer, even though when not under social pressure she can always give it. Sorry that is all I know about this, b/c it's not an issue our DD has and there is some interfamily awkardness about giftedness
But I can see for some kids that social awareness might prevent them from giving the correct answer. Not sure what category of issues this might fall into, but at least she does seem to know what the answer is Best of luck!

First off, I am appalled at my mistakes in my original post. That's what happens when I post hastily at night and don't proof-read. LOL

Thank you St. Margaret and Dbat for the responses. I think it could be a combination of several things, as you have suggested. It is frustrating b/c I think the kids (particularly the boys) who are bright, and who I assume are also in the process of applying for the GT program, are very 'showy' and outspoken about what they know. Dd is definitely not like that. I already knew she would fly under the radar, but I was very surprised to hear from the teacher how she has to reinforce certain math skills when it is often times something dd has already known for years. Or I have witnessed dd do at home without help. She literally spends less than 2 minutes on homework.

As I mentioned, the assistant grades the homework but I don't know if they actually enter grades in a grade book. If anything they may just check mark whether the homework was completed/turned in. The school doesn't give grades. They do give them a scale of mastery on their report cards but it is based on assessments.

I feel like the teacher understands what I'm saying, and is equally invested on getting to the bottom of whatever is going on. But part of me worries that her Teacher Rating Form she will turn in won't be the best review, and that that will affect dd's ability to get in the GT program. Does anybody know how much weight a teacher's opinion holds for a decision process like this? I know I have read somewhere about a study where teachers were asked to identify GT students and they were very unsuccessful from weeding between GT versus bright and achieving students.

mountainmom2011 - It seems to vary wildly between school to school and state to state. I know in the public school my kids were attending, teacher comments were information number 1, and without a teacher recommendation, including proper behavior, there was no chance they could get into the program prior to grade 3. We are currently in the process at DS's new charter school, and teacher input seems much less important, but we don't know for certain yet.

Ack...my ds is doing something similar! He's very social, but when it come to answering questions or "showing" his teacher his mastery - it's as if he doesn't trust himself. I wish I had answers. His teacher is NOT on board.

I would make sure an application to the G/T program identifies this issue - if it is anxiety, that is a medical issue - which brings ADA laws into play.

mountainmom, have you asked your dd what she thinks is happening on the assessments?

I would try not to worry too much right now about what the teacher is going to write in her GT recommendation; it's early in the year and the program doesn't start until 2nd grade; if she writes a non-recommendation and you're able to find out what she puts in the rec that is an issue, you have time to do your own data-collection to be able to appeal and make a case that it's a non-issue.

As mentioned above, policy re how kids are admitted to GT programs varies significantly from state to state and even school district to school district, and even within the same school district some teachers are going to make decisions differently than others. I think in most places you have room to appeal.

Best wishes,

polarbear

@ Polarbear

I did try to talk with her this past weekend to see if I could figure out what is going on. She didn't really have an answer for me. She can be hard to get info from. Sometimes I wonder how much of what she says is truthful. I don't want to paint her as a liar, rather I think it's more of a result of her overactive imagination. Perhaps it's the age, she just seems to have a hard time drawing a line between reality and imagination. I can't think of any specific examples at the moment to explain this, I hope what I'm trying to say is coming out right.

She has had 2 assessments prior to this assessment (which I have yet to see). On the first 2 assessments she didn't get any wrong.

DD is definitely above grade level in reading, math I think the teacher can honestly say she is on level AT LEAST. But there are parts of the recommendation that asks for specific examples about behavior or personality, particularly related to giftedness, and dd is really just a wallflower. She isn't showy, she's quiet and in her own little world. So I really don't know what the teacher will put.

It's reassuring to hear I should have the time to appeal.

That's a good idea, mentioning this in the application. I definitely think whatever it is has to do with either her fear of failure, perhaps she isn't confident, or perhaps her daydreaming... And I wouldn't be surprised if she is afraid she would hurt the teacher's feelings if she told her she already knew something. She is very sensitive to other people's feelings.