Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how to help son with writing process?

I'm usually here talking about DD5, but today have a question about DS8 in 3rd grade.

A little background: He was very precocious (especially verbally) as a baby/young child, and today is a deep thinker, creative, inventive, and emotionally very sensitive and perceptive. I think he is equally gifted to DD5 but is not the "shining high achiever" that DD5 is. He has a greater disparity between his intellectual/academic abilities and social/emotional maturity. He gets mostly good grades but can be inconsistent in his output depending on how much effort he "feels like" putting into something.

He often finds the "process" of schoolwork tedious and pointless. (For example, if the teacher writes sentences on the board and tells them to copy down the sentences and underline the verbs, he'll say, "Why can't I just write the verbs? Why do I have to write the whole sentence?") He hates having to explain his work or how he arrived at a conclusion. He is impatient, wants to rush through work to get it over with, misses details, hates following directions, and quickly gets frustrated when he has to "slow down" or do anything over.

He/we have made huge progress this year in several areas: 1)many fewer emotional meltdowns at school over little things like one wrong on a spelling pretest; 2)less arguing/complaining about doing homework; 3)better understanding of the importance of studying and not just "winging it"; and 4)starting to show a greater willingness to slow down, take more time, and try to do his best work.

However, WRITING remains a huge frustration for him. My question is: How can I help him with his writing skills? And should I have him pursue writing the same way he's being taught at school?

Our entire district uses the "Four-Square Method" of teaching writing, and he absolutely hates it. He doesn't want to have to "plan" what he's going to write... he just wants to write it. I can't say I blame him, as I am more of an intuitive writer myself and I find the Four-Square Method somewhat restrictive. However, this is what is going to be used to teach writing in every grade in our district for the foreseeable future...so it is something he has to learn.

He says he hates writing, which breaks my heart because he's so verbally adept and creative with language. At school he complains (and sometimes cries) about having to write on assigned topics because he says he can't think of anything to write. He says if he could write about any topic he chose, it wouldn't be so hard. But then, when given an open-ended assignment to write about any three things he is thankful for, he was just as frustrated. At home he says it's having to do the "stupid" Four-Square that he hates the most.

On the "three things thankful" assignment, which he wrote at home because of being missing school when they worked it, I let him write the paper first (rough draft and final version) and fill out the Four-Square afterward. Writing the paper was still a frustrating process for him (and thus agonizing for me), even though we broke it down into small portions separated by long breaks... but he loved being able to fill out the Four-Square afterwards!

However, the teacher did NOT like this approach, as she let me know at conferences. She also said she prefers he do his writing assignments at school so she can see his process. (It ended up being a really good paper, and I think she thought I helped him write it. But I did not help him write it, just asked questions to get him thinking, broke it down into smaller parts, kept him on task, etc.) She liked the idea of having him do more writing practice at home but didn't have any suggestions for me about what exactly to do.

I talked to DS this week and he is willing to work on his writing at home, even seemed excited about it. I asked if he had any ideas about what we could do, and he said "maybe we can find some ideas on the Internet." We talked about the point being to learn about the writing process... start with an idea, flesh it out, write a rough draft, do revisions, etc. That it wasn't going to be a "sit down and rush out a story in ten minutes" kind of thing, but might take one or two weeks to do one project... he said he got it.

So, we started yesterday. His idea was to draw a picture and then write a story about it. He drew a quick picture of Santa on a rooftop. On the back of the drawing he wrote: "Paragraph #1: Christmas is coming in a little bit. I'm really excited because Christmas will be fun. It's fun because you spend time with your family."

At that point I said "whoa, wait a second... remember we talked about PROCESS? First step is the drawing. Second step is mapping out your ideas..." and I asked him to back up and do a Four-Square. He got mad and frustrated and said he just wanted to write the story, not map it out on the "stupid Four Square." Eventually he did fill out the Four-Square but grudgingly and then did not want to have anything more to do with the project.

I'm not sure where to go from here. Should I just let him write the way he wants, let it be creative free-flowing writing-for-the-sake-of-writing? Or should I make him do it the way they do at school?

(Sorry this got so long. Brevity is not one of my strengths.)

I would let him do free flowing writing at home, while he is working with you- after all this will build his creativity. Maybe he is simply too young to be learning about the whole writing process? Maybe it will eventually come and become easier as he writes more and more? In my DD school (fourth grade), beside the long writing assignments (never heard about the four square method though)they do Daily Obligatory Tasks (DOT's) at the beginning of each lesson, and in LA it is usually one paragraf on an assigned topic. One day you are going to like the topic, one day you will hate it, but I think it gets them going and being used to writing about variety of things.
I am all for creative writing, so just learn how to survive this teacher. Maybe later on they won't be nagging him about mapping the whole process (I understand that the whole district uses it, but maybe if later on his written assignmnets are good and clear, they won't bug him about mapping it down). I keep telling myself and my kids that grades are not the most important thing here, the most important think about writing is to write clearly and easily. Besides, writing is such a subjective matter. You will never satisy all your readers :-)
Ania

Oh GG!
Yes you should let him write the way he wants at home. You should just have him write and write and write about what he loves and praise everything you like.

Of course I don't mean general praise, pick up a copy of 6 + 1 Traits of Writing: The Complete Guide (Grades 3 and Up) by Ruth Culham "

It's laugh out loud funny and well written, and will give you something to praise, specificially, besides "Organisation" - which is one, but not the only trait.

Also - how his touch typing? I would really hesitate to put ANY gifted child under any pressure to write until the Touch Typing is a usable tool. I always think of boys like yours and mine as having "Big Giant Heads" stuck on "Skinny Wobbly Necks." Touch Typing helps them "bulk up" where it's most needed. so my advice is flatter, cajole, or bribe your DS into using programs like Mavis Beacon. I started my DS at age 7, by age 9 he was fluent. One of the things that got my DS admitted to his private school and then the grade skip was how impressed everyone was over his touch typing. They all mention how his fingers are flying over the keyboard while his head is swiveling around the room. It's just freaky enough to give them some tangable proof that he really does need something different.

I'm not bragging, but touch typing has acted like a safety net for DS10. Literally, he forgot to complete a paper for LA class yesterday, but because he's such a fast typer, was able to "whip something out" during study hall. I'm not saying that this is the prefered way to go, but given his orrganizational skills, it doesn't hurt that he can burn through some of these assignments.

Yes, the key has always been to slow DS10 down and get him to follow directions, give more details. I do believe it's perfectionism and being left with "enforced underachievment" for so many years. He has evolved an approach that I call, (behind his back) the "Close your eyes and think of England." approach to homework and school in general at times. ((Private message me if anyone is not getting my reference to the Victorian Age.))
He gets it "over with" as quickly as possible with his emotional shields cranked up all the way!

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Please pardon my ignorance here. Is touch-typing different than regular keyboard typing?

Touch typing refers to any systematic keyboarding where the eyes are not required. Many adults today are using the "hunt and peck" method, or a method they invented themselves. Because some of our children are keyboarding in a "hunt and peck" way from toddlerhood, I use the phrase Touch Typing to remind parent to do education here, and not allow the child always to "do their own thing." I love creativity and self-expression, but not when it leads to an artificially lower ceiling.

I've heard tales about alternativly arranged keyboards with wonderously fast and easy paths to 60 words/minute, eyes-free, and have not objection to these alternatives. I just never met a real live person who used them.

Galaxy Girl,

Is it the handwriting or writing composition that your son dislikes? If it is just the physical act of handwriting, keyboarding (touch-typing) may help him enjoy the creative process more.

This topic is timely for me also. My non-Davidson daughter (although still gifted) told me last night that she doesn�t write as well as she would like. This is a fair assessment on her part. I was privately beginning to wonder if we should focus on her writing ability more also.

Background: She has some established LD tendencies in expressive and receptive language abilities although no formal diagnosis. (Ex. 1st percentile for phonological discrimination.) Anyways, I wonder if some academic difficulties (which are infrequent) are due to our lack of help in her LD affected areas. We have chosen to ignore the follow-up referrals since she does very well academically and has many areas of strength that she focuses on instead.

So, back to the writing; I told her that she should write a holiday letter (In our case Christmas) for our family this year. I told her that we would probably not send it just because they often come across a bragging, but that we would keep it for ourselves to remember the year.

I wish their school focused more on writing than the grammar lessons that seem so in-depth. I told my daughter that her grammar lessons were similar the phonics in reading (she�s a sight reader) that was stressed very heavily in the lower grades.

Aren�t the preferences for sight-reading v. phonetic reading and desire to skip steps in many academic areas indicative of an Intuitive tendency?

Deblows -
1% in phonological discrimination? Ouch! Take a look at my 2nd language post. I am sure that I have less of that than my husband and son, who are excellent with accents, music and spelling. Unless your daughter has proven herself with 2nd languages, I would reccomend you get on that while she's young enought. I hated growing up not being able to discrimate between "can" and "cane." Most of my issue was that my perfectionism magnified my relative lack way out of proportion, but the kernel was there. It just slowed me down in my best area, listening to other people speak.

Also - I like focusing in on "hating to handwrite" v. "hating to compose" BUT I still think that for "thoughtful kids" keyboarding is part of the cure for BOTH problems.

Best Wishes
Cousin Trin

Thank you, Ania! Your advice (and Trinity's, too) confirms what my instinct was telling me--to just let him write and express his creativity and start to love writing instead of hate it.



Just for the record... Actually his teacher this year is absolutely wonderful, despite the way I described her comments regarding the writing issues. In fact I'd say she's the best teacher he's had yet. She is so enthusiastic about her work (this is her second year of teaching), patient and kind, encouraging, and emotionally nurturing--which DS8 needs. She challenges him to put forth his best effort and he likes her so much that he really wants to please her and do well. Once he thought he hurt her feelings by complaining about something, so he spent a long time composing a poem of apology to her, and re-writing it neatly on a card he made, and taped Tootsie Rolls all over it because he knew she liked chocolate....it was cute.

She and I have a great rapport. We talk often--phone calls and email--and have what I think of as little mini-conferences about DS on all types of things. She called me after school on Monday just to tell me that DS had an awesome day, was so happy all day long, didn't get emotional about anything, etc. I told her I am praying fervently that she gets bumped up to 4th grade next year so DS can stay with her for another year!


You're right, Ania, and thanks for the reminder. Grades do not always equal learning.

Thank you Trinity! I am so happy to read this advice, as I told Ania above. Relieved to have my instincts verified. And I will look for the 6 Traits book.


We haven't tackled touch typing yet. He's still a hunt-and-peck typer. I know he would enjoy learning this, as he has already mentioned wishing he could type faster/better. It's on my (ever growing) list of things to do with him.


LOL, so true. He really does have a big giant head on a skinny neck and skinny body. As an infant he was in the 5th to 10th percentile for height and weight... and something like the 80th percentile for head circumference!

LOL again!

Thanks for the laughs.