Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy what children say about their giftedness

DD5, in 1st grade, just started doing 2nd grade math independently at school while the rest of the class does first grade math. She's very excited about this! She has two workbooks, one for school and a second "practice" workbook the teacher gave her for home. Last night, as she was working on her math book at home, this was the funny conversation we had:

DD5: "Some of the kids in my class asked Miss G. why I'm doing different math now."

me: "What did Miss G. tell them?"

DD5: "She didn't really answer them. So then they asked me why I'm doing different math."

me: "What did you say?"

DD5: "I didn't answer them either. I mean, I didn't want to say 'Well, it's because I'm smarter than you are.' So I just didn't say anything and eventually they stopped asking me and walked away."

me: "If they ask again, you can say it's because you're ready for 2nd grade math. You can tell them you already learned a lot of first grade math last year at your old school."

DD5: "Okay, I'll try that. I know I can't tell them it's because I'm special."

DD's brother (DS8): "But you are special. I mean, look at you! You're five years old and you're doing 2nd grade math and 5th grade reading. And those are really big words in your reading homework! I don't even know some of those! I think you're very special and you should be proud of that."

DD5: "Well, I know I'm special. But I can't go around saying that. I did tell my best friend A. (a classmate) my secret, and she agreed that I am a very special girl because I'm so smart. Then I told her she is special, too, because everyone is special for some reason. But some people's brains learn differently. And one time I saw C. (boy who sits next to her at school) look at my reading homework, and his eyes got really wide when he saw 'Grade 5' at the top of the page. So I know he thinks I'm special, too. But he doesn't mind because he does 2nd grade reading."

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Then she went on to talk about her experience at the school she attended for the first three weeks of this year, before switching schools, and how that other teacher probably doesn't think first graders can do anything except first grade work... saying, "and she never would have let me do 2nd grade math or 5th grade reading. Plus she never smiled at me. I don't think she likes kids who are realy smart."

It was interesting to hear DD's perspective on how she processes her unique situation at school and pondering how to explain it to her friends/peers. She seems to enjoy being "different" and I think that's good; would you agree?

What do your children say about themselves and their giftedness? What would you advise them to say when classmates ask why they are doing different work in school?

Our DS10 had quite a bit to say on this topic last week. I thought about writing it down for you all at the time, but didn�t. I�ll try to remember everything now.

He started by saying that he wished our school system was more like Germany�s. He was concerned that our country would not be economically competitive with other nations when he became an adult and is also worried about our national security vulnerabilities if his generation of students did not receive a comparable education.

He continued that K-4th grade was all review of things that kids learn before they start school with tiny little mini lessons here and there. He stated that 5th grade had more new information (in some subjects) but the difficulty was trying to decide whether the worksheets or tests required the �book� answer, the �teacher� answer or the (full) �correct� answer.

He stated that school teaches things in tiny little steps and that he would prefer to be given a challenge problem and make mistakes. He said that he could then learn what he did wrong and do it correctly the next time. (This is what he is doing with his new math tutor.)

Socially, he is far more interested in fitting in with the sixth grade boys than his own grade. He says that they think he is really quiet. During lunch with them (after math) he doesn�t want to say anything �wrong�. When they make a joke, he just laughs and nods.

I also have to say that the older kids have been far more accepting of him than his current class. I think they have made an effort to make him comfortable. They are kind children. Kudos to their parents and teacher!

Hi GG-
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She seems to enjoy being "different" and I think that's good; would you agree?
-snip

I think she pleased to be seen for who she is----not that she neccesarily likes being different, I thinks she just likes it being ok to be who she is!

I'm please that she has enought judgement to keep her mouth closed when she doesn't know how to answer! LOL - DS10 was a nightmare around not "telling the other kids about Santa." He used to rant about it to: "Those other children are being lied to! This is an outrage." I'm glad we are passed that!

At 3, DS10 confided to me that he didn't think that the other children had "voices in their heads that talk to them." I was so offended. And a bit impressed. I yelled at him, "Of course they do!"

I like the "readiness" suggestion, and often start in on the flower analogy, all opening according to their own inner workings.

DS10 just figures that his brain is different, and better. last year he was tested, and asked to complete this stem:
MY MIND_____
he answered: Has A Mind of It's Own!

FWIW -
Trinity