Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Looking for help defining what my son needs

I am wondering if any of you have experience hiring a "tutor" for a nearly 5 year old to help keep your child intellectually engaged while they trudge through traditional kindergarten curriculum? What would a person like that even be called? An intellectual mentor? Where would you find such a person? We live near a major university but I am having trouble framing the job description. Basically, I need a person to come on the two mornings a week when my son isn't in PreK to help him explore his latest interests and stretch/challenge his mind. I would do this myself (quite happily!) but I also have 7 month old twins who demand most of my attention right now.

(The backstory): My nearly 5 year old son who is reading at a 5th or 6th grade level (possibly higher?) and doing 3rd grade math. He also shows a unique aptitude in science. Botany is one of his favorite subjects right now and we spend endless hours identifying, categorizing, and dissecting plants. I had him tested for early entrance to our district's kindergarten, and the school psychologist suggested I get him more deeply evaluated after telling me that he had the highest achievement score she had seen in 22 years. That caught me off guard. I knew my child was "bright" but we have many friends with "bright" kids and I never thought DS was THAT much more advanced than any of them. Now that I've had a little wake-up call, I have sat back and really assessed his skills versus those of his peers and I can plainly see that my original education plan for him is not going to work.

Our district has an APP program that teaches two grade levels above the standard age-indicated grade level, but every child MUST be 6 years old by August 31st of that school year to go into it. Since my son has a late September birthday, that means that if he were to be enrolled into early entrance K, he would have to either repeat K or repeat 1st grade, neither of which is an acceptable option to us at this point. So we've decided to stick with traditional PreK this year and add enrichment, then try for private gifted K next year and THEN maybe enroll him in our district's APP program (though at this point he might be too advanced for APP and we'll have to figure something else out).

Thanks for any help or experience you can give!

I'm trying to imagine what I would do in your shoes (I did DD's enrichment myself... she has only 1 younger sib so I could manage).

What about advertising at the university for a student? You may be able to find someone with a schedule that matches yours and your DS's who could use some part time tutoring hours. It could be a psychology student, or even a botany student (your DS would love that )

Good luck - I hope you figure something out

or maybe finding a student studying Gifted Education who may be interested in some hands on experience?

That was my thought too, to find a student, but it is such a mixture of part-nanny/part-teacher that I don't know what to ask for. It seems like an odd "job" to look for, if I were a college student looking for part-time employment.

I also feel sort of ridiculous in that way that only us parents of GT kids can feel asking for a tutor for my 5 year old. I feel like I sound pompous, or like an overbearing hover-parent, or like I'll seem like I'm inflating his abilities or pushing him too hard. Which I realize are entirely my own issues to deal with and right now I just need to focus on finding the best possible educational situation for my child.

Check with the counselors at your nearby high schools and any college education programs, but I'd start with high school. Since you're looking more for a motivator and not a content tutor, someone with the right attitude and energy will be more of a help. I tutored a brain-injured little girl while I was in high school, and this was exactly the role her parents wanted me to play. She was very bright but just got frustrated, so I was the "external good attitude". They found me through the school counselor who recommended me to them. I wasn't looking for a job, but when they approached me, I agreed to meet with them and fell in love with their little girl.

What we did with our older son was pay for private school with an accelerated academic program. It wasn't ideal, but his birthday fell in late Aug. where he missed the cutoff. We started in public but moved him in first.

Good luck!

I think the other posters have given you some good ideas but I just wanted to say this would have been my dream job when I was in college! I don't think you'll have a lack of applicants!

Not sure why my previous response wasn't posted, but I'll try again:

Thank you for your feedback! I didn't even think of our local HS (only 4 blocks away, has a GT program). And I LOVE the idea of this person being a "motivator".

I guess the only think I'm still balking at (and I realize it's entirely my own problem) is seeming like "That Mom" asking for a tutor for her super special snowflake 5 year old son. I just feel like I am going to turn potential applicants off by seeming like I am an overbearing helicopter parent, or like I am exaggerating my son's intellect. Any ideas on what to ask for?

Thanks again for your help! I am so thankful to have found this community!

I actually worked for a parent in a role very much like this when I was in college and I did love it! The way I got the job was the mom asked my advisor if there was a student in my department who'd be willing to work with her dd... and he suggested me - not sure if he suggested me because he thought I'd be good at it or because he knew I needed the money lol! But whatever the reason, it was a fun job and it was a good fit for a college kid's sometimes odd schedule.

polarbear

ps - fwiw, my EG ds (who is now 12) is really *really* into science. When he was little, he used to love to watch Nova & Nature on PBS, and he also loved to read any books we just happened to leave laying around, so we kept a lot of books around! Even though school was drudgery, his love of science and natural curiosity held and now that he's older he's doing great in science and is taking advantage of opportunities to study way ahead of grade level on his own. Sooo... don't panic too much if early elementary is not ideal. Just try to keep plugging away with giving him opportunities to follow his passions outside of school.

Good luck--I hope it works out. From my own experience, though, I think it might be easier to find someone who is more of a generic babysitter type to take care of your twins, which (IMO) would also let you do the 'fun stuff' with your DS. Our DD had a babysitter for her first couple of years and it worked out fine until DD got old enough to need more mental stimulation--at which point I really enjoyed helping her with that, and it would have been harder I think to find someone who would do it 'right' and give me enough feedback to let me know when more was needed. But I'm sure you've thought about that and I'm not criticizing your choice--just thinking I personally would jump at the chance to have somebody else change diapers and do the burping, especially with twins!

Oh, I wish I could! But I have one extremely fussy baby that drives everyone, including me, insane and won't take a bottle. Which is not to say that she won't grow out of that over the course of the next year (hopefully!), but right now it makes finding a sitter for them so that I can work with DS pretty difficult.

I personally would have an ad up at the local university for a generic part-time nanny position, and then when you speak to them personally explain that you'd like them to do some educational activities with your child during that time. See if they are open to that, then, once you've met with them, you can get further into where your son is at and what he needs. I think nearly any college student would have the knowledge necessary to work with your son, the important part is finding someone who loves children, has patience and wants to have fun and entertain your son. He might not always want to do "learning" with this person, and it would be good to have someone who's also okay taking him to the park or the zoo, or whatever.

You probably won't get a high school kid who can come in weekday mornings, so a college student might be your best bet there. But I still second the high school suggestion, for perhaps an after school time once a week, or whatever works for you (having had small twins once, I'd suggest dinnertime, when ds is likely to get lost in the shuffle anyway). In many states, the HOPE/Bright Futures/Gold Seal/what-have-you scholarships require a volunteer component. Your high schooler might be able to work the tutoring out in such a way that it would be mutually advantageous, but with no actual money changing hands-- a mentor for your son, and hours accumulated for the high schooler.