Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Sarcastic remarks about my son

You'll probably find this to be true for many years. My 18 yr. old DS I'm convinced will someday marry an older woman for that very reason. He still usually finds people at least a couple of years older to be more his peer group.

i'm glad you were able to assert your concerns and felt heard (at least somewhat).

I'll myself that I'm just furthering this discussion in general: Along with helping our kids to understand how they "fit", I believe that helping your kids to embrace humility as opposed to elitism will go quite far in curtailing a lot of negative reactions. With my ds entering K, we've been discussing how his skills may differ from others, and he needs to be confident but not boastful.

I philosophized and waxed poetic about this, asking, "should we change the world for our children or change our children to fit the world?". 
us & ours & some others change things wherever they go if they stay somewhere too long.  A class, a group, an organization, anything you stay in too long you're going to have an effect on just because of how you are.  They call that Intensity.  
So the question remains, change the world to fit our kids, or change the kids to fit the world? Either way these kids will change their world.  I don't mean discover cures or land on the moon (maybe so anyway).  I mean they will change their environment to suit their needs one way or another, eventually, for better or worse.  It is what it is.  

So, always speak up- for the general principle.  But kids are resilient and they'll squeak or squawk or puke or wilt to Let you know.  

Friends, family and neighbors say different things than I would.  I had to decide that the Whole World has more to offer a person than just I alone do. That's ok, because the world is extraordinary and I want my kid in it with both feet.  It's still ok to speak your mind.  If you didn't give that woman a piece of your mind it would have been stuck there.

That's just prose though. I've never left my kids anywhere besides a few times at grandmas for a few hours. I do have stuff get stuck in my head unless I say it though. Sometimes I don't say it and it literally does get stuck there.

La Texican, I agree with you about the intensity. I think the intensity of gifted children really touches peoples lives and they are remembered. This is why I did not want to pull my son out of the center. I want him to be able to deal with the world and I am going to do my best to prepare him for that. Running away from this situation is not the example I wanted to set for him. He will deal with challenges but also has a chance to help make changes and bring awareness to the needs of gifted children. I am glad that you posted this. Having our gifted children go out and deal with the world instead of sheltering them is probably best.

This woman is bad news and the other kids and some staff will pick up on those vibes and then your child may become "tainted" by this woman's nastiness.

I see that you will pull your son. That's great.

I would also consider putting up a review on yelp as well.


Kids are helpless until they are young adults and have been carefully conditioned to the real world and armored with emotional defenses. A suitably prepared child would grow under such a woman and probably turn the tables and befriend her. BUT. Not until their early teens.

There are two worlds - one filled with love and support, and the other filled with vicious people like this woman. Leaving a sensitive child with a woman like this is like leaving a great dane puppy with a pit bull. Unless you are willing to go alpha wolf momma on this woman and put her in her place by making her fear your shadow, then you should move.

Austin, I have already dealt with this woman. I spoke with her supervisor as well as the woman who was offensive. She denied meaning to come across that way but I belive she is being fake.

She actually seems to be trying hard to be nice now, maybe she is worried about her job. Either way I didn't want to just leave without at least bringing attention to her behavior. I think after bringing this to her attention it shook her supervisor up too.

You really think I should not let my son go there and play with his teacher that he really likes for the next few weeks? After that he is going back to his other full-time daycare anyway.

Isaiah09 - trust your gut. It might be right to pull him, it might be right to keep him there. I agree that their is less danger due to the short term nature of this situation.

I can think of one situation where I 'used my words' to let someone know that I was unhappy with the way she was treating me. She changed instantly, and has been friendly ever since. Some people are just frozen in their fear, and thaw nicely after I firmly set a limit.

((shrugs and more shrugs))
Grinity

Grinity, I feel like if I will be switching daycare's and schools all the time if I run away every time some ignorant person acts funny or makes a snide remark about how my son is. My main concern is his safety, however, I really am not sure what the best decision here is. I don't think anyone can be sure, so all I can do is follow my gut, pray and hope all goes well.

I'm going to hope that there really aren't that many people who continually make these kinds of comments in front of you and your son. Although I haven't really encountered this type of behavior to the extent you have, I have felt responsibility to get my kiddo in better educational environments. The main point I wanted to convey to my son is that if he expresses concerns about a situation that is not a good fit (in our case, he wasn't learning new stuff), then he could count on his parents to help him out to get him in a better situation. Since we intervened in his educational settings early on, my son has been more comfortable with school decisions we've made later, including switching schools a couple times to find a better fit. I know your situation is a little different, since you're dealing with childcare and someone who is not your child's teacher, but he's still in a less than ideal setting, so just mentioning my story for comparison's sake.

Your son is still quite young, and it sounds like the woman's comments didn't have much effect on him. It's hard to know at that age. I guess even at that age I might have a conversation with my kiddo to let him know that his parents don't always agree with what other adults say.

You know your kiddo best, and you know your community best. Just my 2 cents.

st pauli girl, I try to be a nagging and hovering parent as much as possible so that his childcare providers no that he has someone looking out for him. Unfortunately I can't watch him all the time. I hope I do not continue to get comments like this either. I'm just going to take it one day at a time and try to make decisions that are best for him. It is a real challenge raising a gifted child. His pediatrician says he is profoundly gifted, this is not a brag. I am feeling happy that he is so smart but scared that I am not equipped to give him what he needs. One minute he is talking like he is 40 and then the next he is being highly dramatic. He has frequent outbursts and is very sensitive to everything. He also has major sensory issues. It is exhausting taking care of him. I wish people that made comments like this woman knew what I was going through at home. I wouldn't change having him for anything in the world, but most people dont understand how hard it is raising gifted kids.