They are now demanding a psychiatric evaluation. They had offered to pay for one when things were at the worst but I was warned off by a neuropsych I checked with being told that few psychiatrists actually do clinical work and most would be brought in just to adjust medication. I was told bad things about the psychiatrist the district contracts with. (ALL online reviews of him gave only 1 out of 5 stars. I have never seen another practitioner with such consistently bad reviews.) Once I finally got the name of one that sounded ok my phone conversation with him consisted of him saying what medications he would start DD on - WITHOUT EVEN MEETING HER. We said no way.
The main reason to have dealings with a psychiatrist is if you want meds. I am not in a position to judge whether you want meds; I know firsthand that for an anxious person an SSRI can be life-changing in a very positive way; but that is a personal decision. To me, it looks like skipping a step to arrive at meds without a thorough neuropsych workup first.
The neuropsych eval you have scheduled for October-- I assume it is a comprehensive workup?-- sounds much more appropriate to me. If they refer you to a PSYCHOLOGIST (not psychiatrist) to treat the anxiety through cognitive-behavioral means, I would absolutely go for that. (IMO talk therapy for children is far less impressive in its results.)
District is now claiming that they "requested" this eval and we failed to cooperate. Funny, as I recall you offered by saying "no pressure - it's there if you want to do it."
Why are they asking you specifically to see a psychiatrist as opposed to a psychologist? It is not part of their brief to insist that you medicate your DD. (Again, you will hear nothing against anxiety meds from me, but they are not supposed to pressure you or to recommend medications. They are not qualified to do that.)
So their position is that IF they agree to remove the color chart and provide support services they are sure that we will come back with additional requests later.
That's not a position, that's grandstanding. Negotiating based on future hypotheticals. It sounds as though so far you haven't asked them for things that aren't in the IEP. I don't know why they would expect you to suddenly do otherwise.
Have you talked to the lawyer yet about next steps? What does the consultant say?
Their violation of the IEP (including written acknowledgement from the district) and the blindside from the principal on the next to last day of school. It has been CRAZY - especially after starting out so well.
Is the new DSS or any of the superintendents acknowledging the prior IEP violation? You have that in writing, yes?
I think that is why I lean toward involving the lawyer; these folks are hedging, taking advantage, stalling, and evading their obligations.
So the district has involved their attorney to review our request.
Another good reason to have your own attorney involved.
Right now DD is happy as a clam - loving every minute of the enrichment programs that she is doing over the summer. I told the consultant that I don't think an eval now would be appropriate - she would need to be evaluated once the school year is underway and she is being triggered (or not as the case may be.) Principal (consultant said "I am NOT impressed - I would never hire her...") thinks it should be done by September. We have a neuropsych scheduled for October already. Consultant proposed it be done by January.
If you can get on a cancellation list and do the neuropsych sooner, so you have a "summer/happy" baseline, that is not a terrible idea, as long as they are willing to see her again in the fall as a followup once school has upped the anxiety again. Otherwise, I think keep your October appointment, and you can let the district know that you feel that "we will all get sufficient information from that evaluation to make plans moving forward."
At this point I just want DD in a classroom that will not freak her out but I don't want to agree or disagree to something just to make that happen.
I think you are being reasonable. They are painting you as unreasonable; all the more reason to stay calm, use your experts, and stick resolutely to the key issues. You must be, beyond a shadow of a doubt, more reasonable than they are, yet also persistent.
All of this is because of the principal's ego - nothing more. The thing that gets me is that thousands upon thousands of classrooms are managed everyday with positive behavior systems - color charts and punitive actions are not essential to an elementary classroom, This principal is just wholly unqualified for the position and doesn't recognize that she is insisting on something that doesn't HAVE to be there. Jeesh... I really just can't believe it...
Yes, a power struggle that became personal, with a principal who has not had sufficient training to understand what is mandated by law. Awful.
Your lawyer will advise you. If they come back at you with a color chart, I'd get the State Department of Ed on the phone ASAP as well as file a written complaint with them. And whatever else the lawyer recommends.
Your DD is entitled to a public education that meets her needs!
Hang in there.
DeeDee