Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Is this normal?

After pushing for psych testing for years, I was recently able to have it done, and the psychologist diagnosed me as gifted in reading and writing, with an average IQ as well as a memory disorder.

But ever since I got the scores back, I've been really self-conscious about my abilities and I've noticed that I'm embarrassed to read in front of my parents, neither of whom read, very much disliking reading, books and bookstores altogether. (Sometimes I'm amazed I'm their kid!) I'll go so far as to hide my books when I'm reading and they come into the room, and that makes me feel like crap.

I'd really appreciate thoughts on this. So far the people who I've asked about this think my behavior is awfully odd, and have mentioned asynchronous development and emotional immaturity, and I'm not sure if the asynchronous development thing even applies to me since my IQ is average.

Thanks tons!

How old are you? If you're a preteen or teen, I think being self-conscious is both normal and expected. Good for you for continuing to read in an environment where it's not encouraged!

Hiding your books also sounds pretty normal under the circumstances, although if you want to stop, you can work on that. I'm sure you don't want to go out and sign up for therapy (and your parents may not want to pay for it), but this site has some cognitive behavioral therapy tools that you might like. CBT is a good modality for changing your own behaviors that you're not happy with.

Good luck, and thanks for reaching out!

Thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it, and will definitely check out that site. I feel better already!

Oh, and I'm 18.

About twenty years after I graduated from high school, the president of my class (from 8th grade through senior year), a popular athlete, confessed to me that he used to read Lord of the Rings in secret!

Our college choir used to split up stay with church families when we went on tour. Somewhere in suburban America, our host family offered a small TV for me and my roommate to take up to our room. We said, "No, that's OK. We've got books and magazines to read."

The wife turned to her husband and said, "See! Other people like to read for fun!" Both of us were shocked. I mean, I came from a rural, working class family that at least read romances and westerns!

just because you have an overall average IQ doesnt mean all the scores are average. my child has a high average fullscale IQ, but some of the subtests are 3 standard deviations from the mean. which puts them at or above the 99%tile.
could you be twice exceptional and have some spikes in those scores. did your tester give you all the subtest scores or just an overview?
It is totally normal to hide ones intellect in an environment that does not value it. just because you have memory issues does not mean you are not smart and do not have something to contribute. be persistent. you will find your niche.
also have you looked into working on your memory? perhaps now that you know it is an area of weakness you could develop it.

I like what g2mom says. If you post your scores here (anonymously of course) we'll help you figure out where your strengths and weaknesses are, (according to the report anyway) and which one can be fixed and how to work around the ones that can't.


Keep reading, and keep looking for friends who accept your strengths and value you for them! I always felt like I was 'dumber' than my friends. It took me a long time to realize I was comparing 'my insides' to 'their outsides!'

Smiling at you,
Grinity

How wonderful that you love reading! Your parents may not understand your love of reading, but it is a wonderful pursuit that will take you far in life. As you grow up, you may discover that you don't care as much what others think and you'll feel more comfortable pursuing your own interests, including reading. (And remember, parents are only human. We do the best we can, but we're not perfect. I'm sure your parents are the same way.)

Try not to be too locked into your IQ scores. They are just one piece of the unique and amazing person that you are. Just continue trying to learn and grow as a person. Be kind to others and open to discovering who you are and the many gifts you bring to the world.

Wow, haha! Thanks for that!

I have some subtest scores, but the test was very focused (I was able to get the LD testing done through a free program). I would've liked a more comprehensive one, but lacked the funds.

Thank you! I appreciate that and I hope so.

Not yet, but I will. Thanks!

Here they are!

The only things the psych really said in his report was that my reading and writing were notably above my average intelligence, and the reason I thought I had dyscalculia was due to a combination of a mild memory disorder and the “gifted nature” of my reading and writing.

Also, I’m wondering if asynchronous development and/or 2e might apply to me. From my research, the reading score would be 99.4 and the writing 98, but I'm not sure.

Thanks so much!

RIAS scores:
VIX: 102
NIX: 100
CIX: 101
CMX: 86

WJ-III NU scores:

Reading Fluency: 138, Very Superior, Above 18.0 grade equivalent

Writing Fluency: 130, Very Superior, Above 15.6 grade equivalent

Math Fluency: 101, Average, 13.0 grade equivalent

Math Calculation Skills: 103, Average, 13.0 grade equivalent

Academic Fluency: 129, Superior, Above 18.0 grade equivalent

I just have to tell you, your comment made me feel so much better!

I really appreciate your advice. Thanks!