Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional ARD Meeting tomorro! - So Nervous!

Ug.. I am so nervous about this ARD meeting tomorrow... even though I've got the acceptance to the Charter in hand! I am just not entirely sure how I'm going to respond to this Ed Psych claiming my child is "Emotionally Disturbed"! It just seems like such a cop-out dx to me. Like, 'oh, well, we don't know what's up with him, he's just disturbed.' He can pretty clearly articulate what caused him to become upset nearly 100% of the time. And it's nearly always an issue of him not understanding what a teacher or student was thinking/feeling/expecting. *sigh*

I am a very non-confrontational person by nature, so if anyone wants to send me some 'be strong' vibes, I'll take 'em!

Amy, what exactly is an ARD meeting? Is it a meeting where you draft an IEP, or a meeting where you determine eligibility, or something else? My advice is to not agree to or sign anything *at the meeting* if the district is proposing your ds be found eligible as OHI/ED and you're not comfortable with it as a diagnosis. You can disagree and request an outside evaluation, and you can also request that the decision be postponed pending the results of your outside evaluation (which I think you're set up for soon? Sorry if I am not remembering that correctly!). Team meetings can be very intimidating - but remember that you know your son better than anyone else who will be at the meeting! Also try not to get caught up in worries that you have to have something in place asap or that you have to agree to something because you're having the meeting now or because the end of the school year is near. Parenting and advocating for 2e kids with special needs isn't just a quick define-the-problem-and-it's-solved - it's going to be a journey, and you're going to be back in meetings like this again. Don't let the school staff intimidate you into thinking you must agree now!

Also, fwiw, we had ds' school try to categorize ds with an inappropriate diagnosis. The thing that helped us most in advocating for services was to gather all the data we could from the private professionals we've seen that countered the district's perceived diagnosis - and it worked. The diagnosis they suggested was *not* appropriate so that was key, but having data from the outside professionals was persuasive - when the school staff questioned any of it, we simply replied with "Are you questioning the findings of a professional neuropsychologist with xxxx credentials" or "Are you questioning the findings of a highly respected pediatrician" etc - and that shut down objections to the private reports and conclusions quickly.

Good luck tomorrow - you'll get through it, and you'll do a wonderful job of advocating for your ds!

polarbear

You don't have to agree to anything you don't agree with. You don't have to sign anything you don't agree with.

If they continue to insist on the ED label, you can ask to break and continue the meeting after you have your outside testing results to confirm or refute that finding. I would suggest bringing that outside professional and/or an advocate to the next meeting if you can. This has been very effective for us.

Remember what I said before: they can and should provide the needed services (under RTI or a "building plan") even as you continue to figure out the diagnostic picture. You should not have to accept the ED label in order for accommodations to be put into place.

Remember that this is a process; fate does not hang on any one given meeting. You'll continue to work on this until you have good solutions in place.

DeeDee

Thanks master. The alternative label would be Aspergers. His therapist considers that his diagnosis, but we are waiting on the NeuroPsych for a formal dx.

I've been reading other folks IEPs and the like and I've made a big old word file full of stuff. I need to pare down now, I think! lol

Thanks polarbear - ARD is 'Acceptance, Review or Dismissal from Special Education services'. Yes, the NeuroPsych eval is set for the 21st! We should have results a week or two after that. By which time he'll likely be formally withdrawn from this current school anyway.

DeeDee - You've been such a big help with your knowledge of the process! I really appreciate it. I believe the NeuroPsych does provide a full report that written specifically for the schools, and is available by phone for IEP meetings... I'll be sure to follow-up with her about that when we have our big results meeting.

My hope was to get at least something positive out of this because his new charter school will get all his paperwork, this stuff included. I know we'll have to continue the process with them, so it would be nice to have at least something down on paper recognizing his needs. BUT, if we can't get that now, we'll just begin the process with the new school, with the NeuroPsych eval in-hand.

The charter school may want to rewrite the plan, in any case; each school has its own way of providing services, and they won't necessarily want to be held to the previous school's plan.

However-- if you can get him identified for special ed now, that puts you on a faster track to an IEP in the fall. Have you talked to the new charter about the need for special ed services? If not, I would... if you request a meeting now, you have a chance of getting one before October or so. This stuff moves slowly.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.
DeeDee

I tried to ask about it with the lady who was handling the acceptance forms and the like, but she seemed super busy. When I turn in all the paperwork, the ARD stuff will be part of it. My plan is to turn in all the paperwork on Friday, then, next week call and see if I can get some phone time with an administrator to actually ask what would be the best way to work with them. I want to discuss his placement before he gets there, in addition to any behavior accommodations he'll need, since this school has an acceleration policy and a policy for differentiation and a G/T program. I want to make sure we START the school year with appropriate differentiation, if that's at all possible.

ETA: That reminds me, I want to email the diagnostician who did the K-TEA test and ask if she can translate the scores for me.. all I got were numbers and 'Above Average'.. I want to know if that translates into a grade level, and if so, what?

Just sending hugs and support--I would not love that label either, although I could pretty easily imagine it being put on my kiddo.

LOl "you are not disturbed, and neither is your child"

You are just swimming agains the current, and so is your child...which can make the most intelligent and sane person batty at times!

I love DD's advice...you don't have to sign anything. Your child is yours and you can call the shots.

When the trouble first started with our DD I always felt like the child in the principal's office myself, but we're grown-ups too and can ask for breaks, politely refuse to sign things, ask for more time, or my husband's favorite "play dumb" just scratching his head and sighing, not making a decision at all and not saying anything while everyone waits for him to say something and the clock on the wall just ticks away.

Thinking of you today. Here's hoping for a positive, constructive meeting.

Thanks geo!

Best wishes. And add one person to the list of those who rolled their eyes at the exclusion of AS because your son had good eye contact. Been there, done that, still struggling to get proper services for DS8. Don't sign anything except the paper saying you were there. And don't accept the label until after seeing te outside specialist.

It's shocking how someone with a PhD can so easily throw out nonsense, isn't it?

A lot of school psychologists don't have PhDs. I know ours doesn't. Which doesn't excuse the nonsense...

Ours does, so he has zero excuse!

Back from the ARD meeting!

As expected the school Psychologist reported that DS made good eye contact and had friends, so he didn't meet the criteria for ASD. He suggested DS could meet the threshold for entry into SpEd via the ED label, or go the 504 route. The principal & v.principal were there, along with the Psychologist, the diagnostician, the SpEd coordinator and another 2nd grade teacher (DS's couldn't be there today.) We talked for quite a while and went over everything they are doing right now, and things that could be helpful for him (mostly things they are already doing right now, but also with the SpEd he'd get help from the SpEd coordinator) and in the end we tabled discussions pending our NeuroPsych eval.

The psychologist had to jet right after that, as did the other 2nd grade teacher, but everyone else sat and chatted for a while. I was glad to hear from them that they were also surprised that the psychologist reported DS had good eye contact - all of them reported he hardly ever made eye contact with them! Glad it's not just us who sees that. They were perfectly happy waiting for the neuropsych eval to move forward with things and they seemed super supportive. I will definitely miss the vice principal, in particular, when we move to the new school; she's been so great with DS when he has his meltdowns/tantrums.

Amy, I'm glad that most of the team seemed reasonable. I always find it reassuring when school staff see my child's weaknesses and strengths more or less as I do.

If you know when the neuropsych results will be available, will you schedule another meeting with them, and see if you can get the eligibility determined before he leaves this school?

If not, you could consider inviting one of these folks who knows him well to the eligibility meeting at the new school; use their knowledge to help you along...

DeeDee