Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help - Is my 4 year old gifted?

I have always felt my 4.5 year old daughter is smart, but I recently read an article about gifted children, and that article made me start to wonder if she is gifted. I came across the article randomly. This is not something I have thought about. I did some research, and I noticed she has a lot of the characteristics of gifted children.
To give you a little background, my daughter was born 15 weeks premature (25 weeks gestation). We have always had to be concerned about developmental delays due to her extreme prematurity. When she turned 1 adjusted (which would be about 16 months actual), I was concerned that she wasn't really talking much. I took her to a speech therapist, and she qualified based on her actual age, but not her adjusted age. After only a few weeks of therapy her vocabulary exploded. About this same time I also purchased the "Your Baby Can Read" DVDs/Books/Cards. I thought it might help her. She went throught them much faster than "normal." She obviously new the words (even if she couldn't say them). So by the time she was 2 years old she could read anything. I'm not talking memorizing words. She could read words she had never seen, even long/complex words that I can hardly pronounce! I don't remember an exact age, but before she was 3 she knew her colors, shapes, counting, alphabe. (recognized the letters and knew their sound, she knows what sound certain combinations of letters make as well). Before turning 4 she was able to spell small words. I noticed because she would put her magnetic letters together to spell words, then tell me what they said. If I just asked her to spell something, she could spell 3 or 4 letter words easily. Now that she is 4.5, she can spell longer words. Her counting has also improved. She can count actual objects well (like the other day she counted 12 rolls of toilet paper). She knows a lot about many things from reading books and asking questions about things. She asks tons of questions. She remembers things very well, even things that happened a couple of years ago (like telling me details about things we did on a beach vacation when she was 2).
Some of her behavior and other issues I attributed to her prematurity can also be common characteristics of gifted children, based on what I've read. Her fine motor skills are lacking, for a while she wouldn't even want to try to color or trace because she said she was not good at it. She is VERY active. She is also very sensitive. She is also very unique, and interacts better with adults and older children. All of these are things I read as characteristics of gifted children.
She is a strong-willed child. I do not know if that is common of gifted children. She likes things to be the way she wants them. If things do not go like she thinks they are going to, she gets upset.
I put her in K3 in the fall. I felt it would help with her fine motor and social skills. Her teacher obviously feels her fine motor skills are weak, but she has made improvements. For a while I felt a little guilty about putting her in K3 and not just trying at home, because she decided she hated coloring/tracing and she was not good at it. But she actually seems to enjoy it a little more now that the school year is coming to an end. She will ask for something to trace or cut.
As I said, gifted is not really something I have thought about before. I've spent so much time worrying she would be delayed, and now I see her so advanced in some areas, but delayed in others (mostly fine motor skills). She is my first born (I now have a 7 month old), so I don't have a lot to compare to as far as development. When people finally realize she can read (they don't believe me if I just tell them), they are impressed and tell me she is so smart. But I know reading alont does not make her gifted. Sorry for the long, rambling post, but any help would be greatly appreciated!

I think reading that early probably does mean that she's gifted. Only about 1/3 of gifted kids learn to read at an early age, but when they do it's quite a reliable sign of giftedness I'd say.

My own first born is (untested) gifted, and I never realised his 'smartness' at first because I hadn't known what was 'normal'.

I think she sounds gifted, yes... especially for reading fluently by age 2. (I have no idea how programs that Your Baby Can Read would influence this, but I think even with programs most children would not be reading this well by age 2!)

She certainly caught up quickly for having a rough start! She sounds amazing.

For comparison...My DS is 3 1/2 and very highly gifted (according to ped and psychologist). Might be PG, but it's just too early to know for sure. Some of his milestones, like the reading, sound similar to your daughter. Counting and the other things listed he did earlier, though. But he was also born at full term, so it's very hard to compare.

DS, like your daughter, is VERY strong willed. This has caused many problems in preschool. We've actually already had to leave/got kicked out of 2 preschools so far. He's going to a private gifted pre-kindergarten program in the fall. We'll see if the third time is the charm. I think like all kids, gifted kids have a range of personalities. The psychologist we've worked with told us that his extreme intelligence coupled with his strong-will and self-directedness is just a formula for school issues. She has warned us that it may be difficult to find a good fit for him school-wise. I hope your DD is having better luck in her school environment!

As for the fine motor being behind... a lot of gifted kids are a bit uneven. They may appear PG in some arenas, and MG or even average in others. To continue to use my DS as an example, he's off the charts in all areas... BUT gross motor is just average. He's also still struggling with potty training (still wets his pants almost every day), but this is likely more of a stubborn thing than anything else.

I can see how if you were so focused/worried about her being behind that your DD being gifted wouldn't even be on your radar. Well, I'm glad you found this place. I've learned so much here, and plus to support of getting to lean on other parents who really "get it" is just invaluable. Welcome! You are in the right place!

Like sweetpeas said, as with all people the gifted subset also falls into different categories. You can google different combos of gifted kids categories/profiles or whatever. It's different than the "levels of giftedness" it's more to do with temperament and such. As always it's possibly best to take what you can from all the articles/info and add a huge grain of salt, and go from there.

My DD is 8 1/2 and she's always been very strong-willed, creative and intense since birth. I always say when people make comments "well, I guess I wouldn't call her a 'wash-and-wear' kid!"

But these are the future leaders and trail blazers, so as their parent you have an awesome responsibility to keep them on track somehow or other over the years.

No pressure...LOL!

Mine also had a tough adjustment to preK. The only reason she only went to 2 and not more is that we didn't send her at 3 (she was very hard to contain, shall we say) and by the time we did the 2 different preschools at age 4 it was time for K.

I guess when I first used to read about the different types of gifted kids and realized she fell into the "Rebellious Rebecca" one (that's from a SENG webinar I listened to a few years ago) I was scared, but not surprised. I had an uncle (deceased) who was very much like her, but he was very athletic (DD is pretty strong but not particularly coordinated), and rebelliousness does pop up here and there in the genes from a long time ago...There are many bright people all over the family tree but once in a while a more extreme one pops up.

When she was tested in K, the tester did say that, looking on the bright side, the acting out kids do at least get attention and therefore you are more likely to keep track of them...where the very quiet and introverted ones might appear to be adjusted but things are brewing underneath and might just all keep building up inside of them until they can't contain it anymore.

That's just one opinion of course. If you're having a very challenging day, it might make you feel better to think of this??

The best advice I could give it just to make sure she always keeps learning and never accept any "excuse" for having it withheld from her. I think some school mentalities fall into the category of trying to work on the child's challenges until they get them where they think they need to be on a social/emotional/behavioral level, before they provide the appropriate academic level of learning for these kids. Or maybe it's just an excuse...whatever you want to think. Either way, it's never appropriate to withhold learning from any child if that's what they crave and deserve.

But keep her out in the world as much as possible as she grows up, outside of school. I've found that people who are talented and smart who work in local theatre, music, museums, teach art classes etc. can be so wonderful with helping develop a child's talents that certain "outside the box kids" always seem to get short-changed on in a typical (public) school setting.

Hope this helps!

Thanks everyone. She actually did a great job on her school work yesterday. She cut very well and colored mostly in the lines! Her teacher was very happy. She was telling me some things she wanted me to put on the grocery list today, so I told her she should make me a list. She wrote "Granola" on the list (then I told her she could do the rest later b/c it was nap time). In my opinion she did an excellent job writing it...not tracing. Maybe she would do better with just writing the letters and not trying to trace. She also spelled to word "granola" by herself, which I would think is pretty impressive for a kid in K3... Someone recommended the book "Handwriting Without Tears) to me. So I am going to get that to help practice her writing over the summer. Maybe she can get those handwriting skills a little closer to the level she is in other areas!
She actually does okay in school. She had to sit in the "sad chair" a couple times when school first started, but it did not take too many times for her to realize she did not want to do that! She doesn't like to sit still, but she generally stays out of trouble. I think she behaves better for them than me.
She knows a lot compared to other kids her age, but I think she could easily learn more if someone teaches her. She takes everything in and remembers it so easily. I'm going to do my best to help her continue to learn new things, and I guess I'll see where she is at the end of the summer.

That's where my mommy guilt comes into play.

Only if I don't have to sleep...