I think Dbat has a very valid point though, that one's successes are based on one's strengths. We all want to minimize weaknesses so that they don't preclude success, but *never* at the expense of those strengths.
I agree that there has to be some balance. We have spent a lot of time therapizing to address DS's weaknesses, which were really extreme in early elementary and clearly precluding any success in any subject. It is only recently that the giftedness has become an equal priority. At this point, we still see a lot of benefit in making social development a key piece of all planning.
He is going to soar in math and science, no matter how we pace him now. I'd rather he acquire all the skills for a balanced life in the process, to the extent possible. We're not going to deprive him of math for the long term... it's just a question of timing. The questions geofizz raised are indeed still very important in my thinking.
So I think if a parent can find a group that is matched to the child's strengths and it's a good, supervised environment with an instructor/adult leader who is supportive of the younger child being there and can work in their contributions, it could be wonderful for the child. Especially if the school hyper-focuses on the "challenges".
Our school is doing a nice job of balancing focus on challenges and strengths right now, and I expect that to continue. DS knows what his assets are and feels great about them. He is making fabulous progress on his challenges, and becoming more able to talk about them as well as deal with them independently.
There are a lot of unpredictables about sending him to the middle school next year (I don't know the teachers, nobody there knows DS yet, will they recognize his gifts and disabilities properly, etc.)-- but I am hoping we will be able to set it up for success.
Kcab, your thought earlier in the thread about who the peers are was very helpful-- I reopened the conversation with those who can help determine this, and I'm hoping to get DS in with the 6th graders who are accelerated to 7th, rather than with 7th graders-- both for social and intellectual fit, the 7th grade placement is more likely to work.
Ultimately, it will be up to the middle school staff to work with us on figuring out where he belongs. I'm trying hard to be OK with the waiting for that to work itself out. DS is happy; that matters a lot.
DeeDee
