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My son has had a particularly difficult day. He is coming down with a cold which makes wearing his brace even more difficult. I told him he still had to do math because he took several months off from math while getting used to the brace. The math I told him to do involved angle measurements. I didn't think about this possibly reminding him of his appointment next month to see if his brace was working enough to prevent the need for major surgery, so we had a conversation about that. He said he was worried that the brace might not be working. I felt really bad for him but while he was over it quickly I started getting depressed because seeing my son in pain daily while also taking care of my dad who had knee surgery and is in a lot of pain from that as well as the loss of my mother. I have never seen my dad like this before and there is nothing I can do. Seeing my dad and my son in pain every day and not being able to do anything about it or get anything done because of circumstances beyond my control gets to me sometimes and I started to feel very stressed. My son could hear it in my voice. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me to take a deep breath and when I told him that doesn't work for me he said to try stoicism. Philosophy is one of the things my son has been interested in for a while now. I looked it up and found that it has some things in common with the serenity prayer.

Thanks for sharing LoriH. Your son is a wonderful kid.
Grinity

"LIKE" nay "LOVE", it's those moments that keep us going through tough times. What an insightful and caring son you have been blessed with.

What a terrific kid.

Hang in there Lori. When your son begins to exit puberty, most of his pains and other physical issues will abate.

Seneca the Younger has stood the test of time. His writings are longer extended Psalms.

Thank you.

Thanks everyone. I don't have anyone to talk to about raising a very smart kid with disabilities.

I live in a town where people who are different in any way are sometimes bullied so my son and I don't tell very many people about his disabilities. I even hear about teachers in our school who bully kids that are different. The homeschool group kicks out people who are different. People in our church ostracize people who are different. I see this as a form of bullying. My daughter will not bring her boyfriend here because of the way people are here and we have to live here. There is a documentary coming out soon about bullying and I want to take my son to see it if they even show it--if they even show it here.

Our extended family knows about my son's disabilities but their kids are very good in sports and they don't even talk to my son. They are treated like royalty in our small town because of their sports ability.

My son's friends in musical theater know about his disabilities and they are more like family than our real family. He does not look or act like he has a disability when he is not wearing the brace except that he tires faster than most kids and has pain. For example a 45 minute shopping trip wears him out causing foot pain and back pain. Staying in musical theater and getting through two hour rehearsals are hard for him now and I don't want to see him quit because he will not be around any kids at all if he does. The musical theater director lets him sit out and watch the dances if he needs to but he says it is harder for him to build the needed muscle memory when he just watches. He is scheduled for a four hour rehearsal today to work on a duet and group song in addition to the regular rehearsal. There are always extra rehearsals before the shows. And he has a cold. He didn't get enough sleep. If he goes to the rehearsal he will have to work through pain and fatigue. If he doesn't go he will worry that he might not perform as well as he should. I need to wake him up and have him put on his brace because he is not going to be able to get enough brace time as it is but he needs to rest. I hate waking him up when he has so much trouble sleeping.

He is able to work through pain for a while but I hate to see him have to do this. I am praying that he will finish growing soon so he won't have to wear the brace and he can have a more normal life but I think it will be at least another year before he is finished growing.

I have trouble sleeping just thinking about all of this. I got up this morning and one of our dogs had been sick all over the carpet and I needed to take lunch to my dad. When I did I found my dad sitting in his bed with blood all over his face. He told me he was fine, he had just cut himself shaving and the medication he takes thins his blood and that is why there was so much of it. I helped him clean himself up. I don't know if I ever mentioned this before but I have anxiety related to medical issues and it is affecting me. I yelled when I was startled by the sound of something falling in the bathroom that my husband is remodeling. He says I am acting like someone with PTSD. I am going to have to work on being more stoic, but it does help when I stop and think about my son telling me that.

Lori,
Good heavens you are under SO much stress! Believe me when I say that I understand! PM me if you need to talk!!