Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Vent..Reading....

Crisc & Cricket- I do understand I just find it really hypocritical with all the violent games I see the kids playing. I also know of a lot of other conversations that I hear about on the play ground, especially the ones with older siblings that are "inappropriate" or what about the music that I hear that kids grab on to the words so quickly?
I am also more aware because I finished Genius Denied on Sunday and well....I have really been resigned to the fact that the public school provides a basic education period. The book has my mind reeling over what should be possible and what the heck should I do with my son.....how do I find kids like him that can handle the conversations that go with a book like that? He should not have to be stifled in his education environment-where is a place where he can be a 9 year old boy but have deep intellectual conversations too. Where he can speak and ask the tough questions and be free to explore. Where he has more to do than read all day long because he finishes the work so quickly and he has no interest in doing more of the same level work- the other option. He tested at the high school level for Science and when I challenged the school on what they are going to do with it they suggest he is not interested in doing additional science work because he can work ahead in his 3rd grade science book and he chooses not to...I said why would he want to- it is not going to teach him anything!!! Originally I have left the school off the hook really in regards to how to accelerate any subject and meet his needs academically- just never saw any glimmer of hope to getting more than the basic GT program.. I always resigned myself it was all up to me to figure out how to challenge him. The book light a fire under me to reach for the stars for him!

This really is a wake up call for me- get off my butt and do something different for him because Hunger Games is really just the tip of the iceberg in regards to how different he is from his peers.

I would take issue with the teacher saying your ds couldn't read the book, but I don't have an issue with the teacher asking him not to talk about it in class. The teacher can't control what he talks about at home or on the playground, but her classroom is her classroom, and there are undoubtedly kids in his grade level who really aren't emotionally ready to hear about it. I also think saying he should be able to because video games are violent is irrelevant. Yes, video games can be very violent - but that doesn't mean all the kids in this class play violent video games. We don't let our kids, and we have known a lot of other parents who also don't let their kids play them either. I suspect my ds could have handled the subject matter of Hunger Games at that age and he was more than capable of reading books at a much higher level by then, but I still wouldn't have wanted him to read it. I know my dd10 would have been very disturbed by it and probably still would be. I can't keep them from hearing about these things out on the playground or from their friends, but I can and do respect that the teacher wasn't acting overbearingly or irresponsibly or hypocritically in asking that it not be discussed in her classroom - I suspect she was acting out of genuine caring for the more sensitive children in her class. I'm also guessing she doesn't let the kids play video games in class either

Please know I understand your frustration with school - it sounds like your ds needs much more challenge and is spending a lot of his day at school bored. And yes, absolutely, reach for the stars for him!

Best wishes,

polarbear

bgbarnes, I'm sorry my parenting choices are making you sick. I have twin 9 yo boys in 4th grade and even though a handful of their friends have read the Hunger Games, my husband and I have made the decision that we don't want them to read the book yet. Other children in their classes do talk about it and there's quite a bit of peer pressure for them to read it, so I wish their teachers would tell the other kids to cool it on the Hunger Games talk.

I don't think it's appropriate for my 9 year olds. It's not that my boys aren't voracious readers, or that they're not capable of understanding the concepts in the book or that they're not highly gifted, too. It's that they're only 9. I think they can worry about a fictional grim future where kids are forced to kill each other when they're a little older. That's my parenting choice, which I suppose you could call censorship. I also censor R- rated movies, and they seldom see PG-13 movies. But here's where I'm a hypocrite-- they do have some shoot 'em up video games. (I think games and books are different and therefore have different rules.)

I'm struggling to understand why you're so strident about criticizing my decisions for my sons. I ask that you take a step back and realize there are many ways to raise kind, ethical, happy, intelligent children.

It probably depends if you are religiously expansionistic or not.

Some people want to make sure that other religious backgrounds are ultimately stamped out, for example, those with a general theocratic political program.

I was just talking to one of our legal assistants. She was catholic going to a evangelical school. They were constantly trying to convert her.

I think there are several different things going on here and some posts are making assumptions which may be correct but which aren't correctly based on things in the OP. My opinions:

- Is it OK that some 9yos aren't allowed by their parents to read Hunger Games? IMO yes, absolutely. I also don't think there's a simple relationship with giftedness here - we've had threads before from people who need to shield their gifted children more than is age typical due to emotional OE. Come to that, I haven't read HG and have no plans to, call it my own EOE!

- Is it OK for the teacher to ask someone not to talk about it in the classroom? IMO yes. It's really her call, but I would be very surprised if she were not also stopping children talking about violent video games in the classroom.

Some posters have assumed that this is the situation, but the OP just said he'd been asked not to talk about it. So

- Is it OK for the teacher to ask someone not to talk about it at all? IMO this is dubious and interesting. As a ban, I think it's pragmatically foolish, because it's impractical to enforce restrictions on what children can talk about on the playground. I would certainly expect any parent who asked for playground talk to be restricted to be told that it's impractical. If such restrictions were to be enforced, talk about unsuitable books wouldn't be high on my list of things to restrict - I'd suggest completely eliminating all homophobic and sexist language in the playground first, for example... OTOH, I would have absolutely no problem with the teacher pointing out to someone that the book he's very enthusiastic about is something that some children his age would find very upsetting, and asking him to be sensitive in how he talks about it and to whom.

Homophobic language on the playground? I don't think I even knew homosexuality *existed* until I was in late high school. Maybe college.

Horror movies like Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm street? That was normal playground discussion. Granted, this was the 1980s.

THIS! And I also think that it might be a better approach to discuss with him WHY it might not be a good idea to discuss the book with other kids his age. If he is mature enough to comprehend the themes of the Hunger Games, then it seems likely that he would be able to understand the need for some discretion.

And FWIW, I would likely not let my DS8 read the book (even though he is academically capable) because, like ColinsMom said, he can be very sensitive to stories of the mistreatment of children so I know it would be upsetting for him. And I also don't allow anything but E/E-10 rated video games right now. So far they are perfectly satisfied with Lego games and sports games, thank goodness!

Oh, maybe you don't need to hear another dissenting opinion ;-) but I am also in the camp where I think it is fine, and actually wonderful, that the teacher asked him not to discuss this in class. Totally concur that it would be wrong for her to ask him not to read it at all.

My 12 year old son read the series last year (at age 11) and loved it. My 11 year old daughter overheard all the hoopla about it in her class in the past few weeks and begged to read it. Knowing more about the content now, I realized it would be better for her to wait for middle school to read it, but there was SO much pressure to read it, since all the girls in her class were constantly talking about it at school. I'm sure the publicity for the movie is part of the hoopla. I caved, and she did whip right through (in the middle of Mockingjay now), but on the 2nd night, she did have nightmares (I agree--in this case, I think her giftedness may have contributed to feeling the story more intensely than might otherwise be the case), and I was annoyed at myself for succumbing to the pressure. Yes, she can read it, she could have read it years ago, but I really wish she hadn't. There are so many more appropriate and also wonderful books for her! So having a teacher who acts to mitigate peer pressure to read what would be at least controversial (some think it's fine, some don't), I think shows she is a caring and involved teacher. Kudos to her. I wish my child's teacher had attempted to reduce the discussions on the Hunger Games in the classroom!

My kids do not have those violent video games, either, and they've only seen 2 PG-13 movies, which I had researched the reviews on CommonSense Media, and they were of the more mild-type. But you are right, an awful lot of kids DO seem to be allowed to play games I wouldn't permit, and even watch rated R movies ("Bridesmaids" and "The Hangover" in 6th grade!!! Yikes). And I would hope that the teachers would discourage discussion of scenes from those movies in class, too.

It is true that we can't control what gets discussed on the playground, etc, and it can be so shocking to hear what is discussed. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm glad your son enjoyed the books, and I do understand your LARGER issue/frustration beyond this particular book/request....it can be tricky to find the right peer group for any child, and often more tricky for highly gifted children. Good luck (sincerely)! But do try to understand why lots of parents would appreciate him being discreet about the Hunger Games.

Uh? Your son can read the book. She's just asked that he not talk about it -- you know, the murders might be upsetting to typical 8 and 9 year olds. I imagine she also asks the children who play the video games to not talk about those as well.

Just a note to say this thread is very interesting and I've been "out of it" for the Hunger Games thing, but now I'll be on alert and will discuss with DH. I guess we're a bit behind since we're still stuck on insisting DD not read above Harry Potter #4, which she is stubbornly reading now because everyone else is or has read it, but which she doesn't really seem to even like that much. She loved the Gregor series by Suzanne Collins. I "made" her read Treasure Island in between HP books #3 and #4 which she did with alot of grumbling, but I kept finding her hiding under the covers with it and she did chat cheerfully about it alot in the end.

Yes, JonLaw unfortunately homophobic language on the playground in elementary school does exist. And in the (boys' at least) locker room I understand from other parents (I don't have a boy) and from announcements that were made on a parents' night by the PE teachers. It starts very young and is very concerning.