Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion "The Inverse Power of Praise"

IIRC the heart of the matter is how you give positive reinforcement, not that you need to avoid it. Instead of praising a child for being smart, etc. you praise effort, or praise achievement while noting how proud you are of the effort needed to achieve, perhaps specifically noting and appreciating how the child didn't give up at a certain point but was creative about finding a different approach, etc. One thing I've done with DS6 in the past is ask him if he's happy to have surmounted an obstacle (always "yes") and if he's happy to be more capable after learning something new (again always "yes").

Now, if your kid never has to try at anything, that can be hard to do. laugh In that case it's time to up the challenge level.

Since I think intelligence is largely beyond a person's control, I agree
 

I guess I agree with Bostonian to a degree.  By the time students are ready for this lesson about the brain and its supposed muscle-like qualities, the brain's development has already slowed considerably.  In the early years, environmental stimuli and challenges can significantly impact development, but once that window has passed, I'm not inclined to pretend otherwise.  These students may be working in an effort to make themselves smarter, but what they are really doing is making themselves more knowledgeable.

Why not be honest about the situation?  Knowledge can be very rewarding, and is often a prerequisite for understanding.

My oldest child isn't 3 yet, but when the time comes, I think I'll explain to her that her intelligence is like a multiplier for her effort.  Performance = Effort X Intelligence.  Since she appears to have a high intelligence, she can manage a mediocre performance with very little effort.  However, if she wants to  perform at the highest level, considerable effort will be required.

With DS6 what I chose to do is simply to discuss Dweck's research and its implications,  so he won't "psych" himself out when things get tough. It seems to have worked to a large extent, though he still backslides into perfectionism sometimes. I also discussed the J. Renzulli three ring model with him, emphasizing effort further. (From my phone)

Ha, I tried out that "your brain is a muscle" approach with DS8 on the way to school yesterday. His response: "Mom, your brain is NOT a muscle, it controls all the muscles in your body, but IT isn't a muscle!" So, it didn't work for me! lol Guess I should have stated more clearly that it's an analogy.

We settled on talking about getting synapses firing and "lighting up" your brain by learning new things and taking on challenges. This made more sense to him, but I am not sure that this approach would really affect how he thinks.

I guess I'm not very clear in the difference between "what 'is' is.". What is the difference between IQ and the understanding of knowledge?  I thought IQ was the capacity to understand.

It would take less time to teach algebra to an average 12 year old who already knows multiplication, division, and fractions than it would take to teach algebra to a gifted 2 year old, right?

The average 12 year old is better primed to gain that understanding, even though their rate of learning is much lower than that of the gifted 2 year old, and the gifted 2 year old will probably have a deeper understanding of things 20 years down the road.

In the first few years of life, brain development is dependent on stimulation. Exercising your brain at that time can in fact build a better brain. But by the time these kids receive this lesson about the brain being like a muscle, all they can do is prime their brains by working hard to acquire knowledge. All the effort they put in wont raise their IQ, although it can raise their grades.

.But there was a third group in the study. This group of children also were told “well done, you solved 80% of the questions correctly.” But in addition, this group of kids were praised for their efforts: “You must have tried really hard to get such a high score”.

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