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Raoulpetite - That is just awful. Where my kids go to school, they are not allowed to pass out invitations to parties unless they are either for the whole class or they are gender specific so that the reason someone is not invited is quite clear. I would let him talk about it and share the burden of his hurt. It isn't fair. It is in fact, rude.
Sorry this happened to your sweet boy.

That's a very hurting thing to happen to a child. My daughter recently wasn't invited to the birthday party of the "popular" girl in class. Her father is a member of the school board in the district and she wears overly fancy clothes to school. The teachers have a tendency to favor her. She has an air of entitlement and she never speaks to my daughter out of class. If my daughter says "hi!" she just turns her head away.

However at least the invitations were not passed out in class. My daughter found out about it from the excitement of the other girls talking about the party, and I learned of it from another mother mentioning that her daughter would see my daughter at the party, then realized my daughter was shut out when I knew nothing about it.

What really irritates me is that the teacher this year, and last year are always partnering my daughter with this girl in activities and little jobs in the class, as well as sitting her near this girl, in the hopes that this girl's "popularity" will somehow rub off on my daughter. It really irritates me. This school is not a good match for my daughter and I really wish I could find something better.

Children can be very mean but unfortunately in your son's case the girl's parents might be leading her in the wrong direction. That's just very mean and bad manners to pass out invitations and leave someone out.

It's so sad. Maybe if the weather is getting nice you can take your son on a nice outing somewhere and do something that is his favorite, but don't talk about the party unless he wants to while you're out and about.

Well, France is less "politically correct" than the US, for the good but for the bad too. I mean that it is common use in France to pass our invitations in school especially in small villages like ours.... I think that if I try to make people act differently I will be the mad one, not the righteous one ... I wish I could, but it is probably useless ...

I am not blaming this little girl for what happened, she did not want to be rude with my boy, I guess. It just happened, just few small steps that progressively makes my son more different than he is ...

You know this story made me think about the name of the official structure that take care of children with learning disabilities wether they are gifted or not. The translation is something like "house for the disabled". This name is just not right ... Moreover the problem of DS is just invisible, he has no wheelchair or something ... I mean had he had a special equipment, others may take more care of him ....

I do not even know if I should talk to DW about that.
Besides, he is so strong, I ate with him for lunchtime ... he just looked like usually... But I know that inside he is just thinking about that, with the question: why ?

My DD is strong also, and she doesn't cry or get upset anymore, she sort of shrugs it off. I never approach the other parent, or in fact the school. That gives the whole thing too much importance and if they do do anything it will possibly make things worse for DD anyway.

For kids that age it's not really the child's fault it's what's going on with the dynamic in the class, but it would be more kind of the parent guides them to not shut out other kids. I just tell DD that we wouldn't do something like that to someone else but you can't really control what other people do. But you don't have to let them make you feel so bad that it drags down your life.

She had a bad time of it last year when she continued to be friendly to a special needs boy who is our neighbor and was friendly when she saw him at lunch. Some of the kids in her class were nasty about him and tried to get her to stop being friendly to him. The whole thing really upset her and it went on for months before the kids moved on to something else...but in the end, she is still friendly to this boy and is not in that class anymore. She moved on, and learned alot.

You're right bzylzy ... Beneath all this, DS learns about life.

For the anecdot, his sister had a boy who has special needs (schooling is difficult for him) in her class and from being quite mean with him (like the other pupils) at the beginning of the school year, she finally tells that he has difficulties, he does not wrong on purpose and that she is a friend of him. She's learning too ....

Been there, although thanks to US school policies about invitations sent on school ground being for all kids only never so that my socially clueless son realized it. *I* certainly did.

My heart breaks for your son...

Thanx SiaSL ! (took me quite a bit to understand your post ... I guess I finally understood). Speaking of broken heart, I almost cried that morning once sitting in my car driving to work. This US school policy is a damn good thing even though it probably does not change the fact that some kids like mine are not invited anyway ...

Amazingly, DS seems to spend a good time at school this week. I was so afraid of how he will feel after that sad monday morning ...

Your son got back on the horse after he fell off, so to speak. Good for him! He's very brave, and on his way. Cool story about your little girl also.