Ok... So this got WAY too long, but I've written it now so I am going to post it!
[quote=Giftodd]
A gifted athlete has the same experience as a gifted student. It doesn't look like effort for them to hone it, because they have physical advantages that their competitors don't. And since playing sports is fun for them, they pursue it naturally.
It's only when a gifted athlete competes against other gifted athletes that effort begins to become a major factor. It's their spelling bee.
My point was not that gifted athletes do not find what they do easier than others, my point is that even exceptional athletes have to work very hard to get to the top and most people are happy for someone else to commit the effort (you only need to look at the number of people whose participation in sport is great - but is mostly enacted from their couch). The average person can contribute no more than hitting a button or two on their remote to reap some benefit from this sports star's amazing physical prowess (I.e. enjoying and wondering at their skill).
Even if a child is doing well at the local swim meet, to take that talent further requires physical effort. To take it to the top requires extreme physical effort, commitment and sacrifice. Little Sally, in the next lane, her mum might feel I am bragging if I talk about how quickly my own daughter is getting ahead - but ultimately she and I know that of we take it further it will involves a significant sacrifice by all our family. There is an obvious cost for that success. If my daughter won, say, a state competition her school would publicly celebrate it even her performance was in no way associated with the school. External sporting achievement is regularly celebrated at dd's school. An academic achievement has never been in her time at school.
The fact that sport, art music, etc are things that people find enjoyable even if they are not exceptional at it helps as well. These are things people can imagine wanting to do and can understand why someone would choose to pursue (and can possibly even imagine themselves doing - however realistic this may or may not be - if they were just willing to commit to it or it weren't for their bung knee etc). They understand it, they may feel they have a choice about it and if they don't feel they have a choice (say, like me, they are surprised they can walk given their lack of coordination) they generally feel ok about it and that there aren't too many things riding on their ability to be a great 'X' (most jobs don't require outstanding physical ability - if they did, the perhaps we'd see the reverse of this issue)
In Australia it's my experience (and others might have found things to be different) that while you'd appear to be bragging if you came out and said 'my little Penny is the best swimmer in the State', if you said 'little Penny can't come to Johnny's party because she's got swimming trials' no one would bat an eyelid. If you said she couldn't come because she had a spelling bee people would feel sorry for Penny, think you were stealing her childhood AND implying your kid was smarter than theirs or that they were deficient parents for not insisting that Johnny do spelling bees. There is so much in the media and advertising about being able to meaningfully increase IQ (yes, I know, another controversial topic) that not only are you saying your kid is smarter if you mention an academic achievement, but I wonder too if there'd isn't an implication they are not good enough parents too?
I just think sport and other areas of physical excellence - including music and art are definable and easy to understand (I often think about a little girl who was in my mothers' group who was quite obviously an extraordinarily talented painter, even at 3 - no one batted an eyelid when her mum mentioned - in a friendly way - what her daughter was up to). Intelligence is much harder to understand and is therefore, as I see it, prone to being perceived as tricksy. As someone else said, we all have it and rely on it to make our lives what they are. Because of things like theory of mind (where by we attribute mental states to others, which we can only really do from our own understanding) it's difficult to understand what it means for someone to be smarter than you - and if someone isn't responding the way you expect them to then you might reasonably doubt the they are smarter than you.
Also people in positions of authority are often presented as being smarter than others - politicians, bosses, etc., despite that not necessarily being the case. These are people who might be perceived as (or who are actually) trying to manipulate us, rip us off etc. So then smarts (whether real or imagined) become untrustworthy in another way - it can be used against you. But these are also roles that 'normal' people aspire to (well... maybe not being a politician...) The are only a few positions that are going to be filled by great sports people, so given the effort/commitment/sacrifice you'd want to be pretty sure you had a chance of getting to get to the top for it to be worth the risks. Better off trying for one of the billions of 'normal' jobs out there - but try and get the best one you can. So for most people it matters how smart they are in their day to day lives. The smarter person is competition - untrustworthy competition at that!
So to my mind and experience, talking about sporting achievement is an everyday, possibly irritating to others, but not friend loosing, variety of potential bragging. The costs for ultimate success are high and so that talent is only a threat to the person willing to make similar sacrifices - and the benefits of success are shared. Talking about academic achievement effects me personally. It means your child might have better life chances than mine (because the majority of us are competing for jobs in what is theoretically a meritocracy), I might feel that I should have done more to make little Sarah smarter (believing I could have influenced her IQ), I might feel that your child might be tricksy and manipulative - might out smart and take advantage without deserving it. Your child might be getting access to more resources than mine, further increasing their advantage etc, etc.
Of course I am making generalizations here and I am not suggesting these are conscious thoughts. I just think intelligence is a much more loaded advantage than physical skill.
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