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    Joined: Sep 2011
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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    he is a gentle child who sometimes gets pushed aside by more aggressive kids. My understanding is that Waldorf believes children should always work out their own problems and is very hands-off with conflicts; in that environment he could end up getting the short end of the stick.

    It will depend on the way in which the children at the school are coached in social relationships and the tone set by the school. Our kids went to a preschool with a similar philosophy re conflicts between children and it worked really really well. The kids were given a routine to follow, basically a guideline, when there was a conflict, the teachers modeled the routine for them and then watched over to see that it was followed. It was all done in a very loving supportive and peaceful manner, and it worked great!

    I think that knowing you have friends who are very happy with the school is very telling -

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    Val Offline
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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    He is reading at around K level and will definitely be reading more soon. He is passionate about books and about facts.

    I agree with knute974 about asking them what they think of his skills. I'd ask specifically about areas where your son differs from Steiner's ideas.

    Just wondering: you're a skeptic and you think it's a lot of hogwash. If this is how you feel going in, how will you feel after four months, with six more to go? Steiner's ideas on child development are pretty rigid. I presume that many or most of the people who commit to working at a Waldorf school have faith in the philosophy. Where does his prospective teacher fit in there? How will s/he react to your son and treat him? Is there a risk that he'll spend the year among people who think he's damaged because he can read and do math?

    I'm curious about why you think your son won't get into the Montessori school. Are you going to try anyway?

    Last question: why is preschool so important? It's not like he's going to get any academic enrichment. So that leaves playing, which he could do at day care. My kids went to a family day care place and still go back because they love it so much (my youngest is 7). It had structure like a preschool.

    Originally Posted by Grinity
    If you child is already reading, and could handle the idea that school is for playing and he isn't allowed to read there, then I'd give it a try. Schools have lots of strange rules, and we expect kids to follow them (asking permission to use the bathroom?)....

    Personally, I don't like the idea of telling my kids to hide the truth about who they are, as I think this sets them up for feeling that they're weird or that being smart is something bad that must be hidden. Asking to go to the bathroom is important for a lot of reasons (e.g. teacher needs to know where you are).

    But I'm not advocating for bragging or telling the world how brilliant my kid is, as this can be equally damaging. I guess an example of this extreme would be writing a blog or book about my super-smart child and using his real name and/or photos. That would invade his privacy and set him up for possible stress later (not to mention ridicule from mean kids or parents who happen upon the blog or book or whatever). But I also would never tell my kids to pretend they can't do something when they can, for fear of making them feel like they're weird. I try to take a matter-of-fact approach: this is who I am, this is who my kid is, we're not perfect but this is normal for us, and that's okay.

    Last edited by Val; 02/02/12 10:26 AM. Reason: Clarity
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    Originally Posted by Val
    But I'm not advocating for bragging or telling the world how brilliant my kid is, as this can be equally damaging. I guess an example of this extreme would be writing a blog or book about my super-smart child and using his real name and/or photos. That would invade his privacy and set him up for possible stress later (not to mention ridicule from mean kids or parents who happen upon the blog or book or whatever).
    ... not to mention a possible child-protective-services referral by a local reader who just doesn't get the intensity of our kids, or the intensity with which we may feel led to parent them. whistle


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    I tried to get my DD into the MOntessori and was told the waitlist was a year and a half long. This was years ago, but I am told the situation is still the same. There are very limited spots available for their free preschool program (see below) that all get filled by kids who were already there.

    Quote
    If this is how you feel going in, how will you feel after four months, with six more to go? Steiner's ideas on child development are pretty rigid. I presume that many or most of the people who commit to working at a Waldorf school have faith in the philosophy. Where does his prospective teacher fit in there? How will s/he react to your son and treat him? Is there a risk that he'll spend the year among people who think he's damaged because he can read and do math?

    The school and those who go there are actually a fairly big part of my life already. I do think it's all kinda nuts, but I also don't attach ALL that much importance to the philosophy if it works for my kid in practice. It will bother me, but if he does well with it, I can deal. However, I am sensitive to people acting like my kids are weird or "off" in some way. Ask me how I know. wink So yeah. In thinking about it, that's a major concern. But I do know the director and find her quite lovely. She is great with kids and seems to enjoy my children.

    I am pretty good at biting my tongue and am actually very crunchy in many ways. We would fit in fine if we could just nt roll our eyes at certain moments.

    Quote
    Last question: why is preschool so important? It's not like he's going to get any academic enrichment. So that leaves playing, which he could do at day care. My kids went to a family day care place and still go back because they love it so much (my youngest is 7). It had structure like a preschool.

    He is at a small family daycare now. We love it, but he is really outgrowing it. In my state free, universal preschool is offered in the 4 to 5 year, but almost never at in-home places. This means that if we want to take advantage of the free schooling and if we want him with age peers, we need to go to a larger center or preschool of some kind. If I thought the place where he was would continue to work, I'd keep him there in a heartbeat, but she doesn't really even take kids that old.

    I don't care about academics in preschool at all and would rather avoid them. I want him in care so he can play with other kids, get practice in doing school, and enjoy the kind of fun and creative art/play projects I don't really do much of it at home.

    FWIW, his current daycare provider is familiar with the Waldorf and recommends against it for him--she says he would be bored.




    Last edited by ultramarina; 02/02/12 01:11 PM.
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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I also don't attach ALL that much importance to the philosophy if it works for my kid in practice. It will bother me, but if he does well with it, I can deal.

    I don't care about academics in preschool at all and would rather avoid them. I want him in care so he can play with other kids, get practice in doing school, and enjoy the kind of fun and creative art/play projects I don't really do much of it at home.

    I think that there are no perfect situations in this world, and it might only be perfectionism that would make that attractive. A school that doesn't want 4 year olds reading is probably better than a school that wants to hold up a letter and make the kids say 'A' is for Apple and prides itself on 'academic readiness.'

    If you don't have to sign a contract and agree to pay for something you may not use, then why not give the Waldorf a try? Knowing that you already have friends who send their kids is probably a sign that there will be some good, as well as some not so good.

    As for the 'white lie' - I do think that our kids need to learn about it earlier than most kids. I wish that wasn't the way that things are, but I think it's better to be able to talk about that part of life where we don't share everything with everyone. Santa is a great example. My guess is that Waldorf's 'reading thing' is unusual, but no more of an issue that lots of similar things.

    Best Wishes,
    Grinity


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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    He is at a small family daycare now. We love it, but he is really outgrowing it. In my state free, universal preschool is offered in the 4 to 5 year, but almost never at in-home places. This means that if we want to take advantage of the free schooling and if we want him with age peers, we need to go to a larger center or preschool of some kind. If I thought the place where he was would continue to work, I'd keep him there in a heartbeat, but she doesn't really even take kids that old.

    Okay, not an easy decision to make. confused Phew. Are there public preschools? (I'm thinking you've looked and either didn't like them if they exist or they don't exist). But, just asking.

    Did your day care provider have any suggestions?

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    You mean like based in public schools? There may be a couple, but I think they are for kids with special needs. I do need to cast a wider net, though--I may be missing some of the options.

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