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Have they actually said any of those things to you or to your son? I think it is really unhealthy to make up dialogue in your head and decide that's what people have said to you. It isn't fair to other people and it doesn't promote connection with other people. Can you think of any other possible reasons why they don't ask your son about musical theater? Maybe they have no frame or reference and don't know what to say? Maybe they perceive that you are easily offended and they don't want to risk saying the wrong thing?




It doesn't seem unreasonable for a person to share their perception of what helped them particularly when you asked. We know there is a huge mind-body connection so even if like me you don't believe in god it isn't a huge leap to see how a person may have found that support from others helped them. If your son's migraines could be improved by some change in habits of the mind would you want that to happen?

On the second point, again, they did not tell you or your son that he was sinful and deserved to suffer right? That's something you decided to attribute to them. Do you think that's fair?

It sounds like it is your perception that you and your son tried hard to be polite. How would you feel if you read them saying "we wondered if she thought we are stupid sheep for believing because when we mentioned prayer she didn't mention prayer" "she didn't say it, but we were lead to think again she was probably saying our vacations were a gross indulgence because she didn't ask enough about them." Would that be fair?

We went to another family dinner yesterday. Relatives we haven't seen in several years, who live in another state, were visiting. The other relatives that make us feel like we don't fit in were busy and didn't show up. We had things in common with the out of town relatives and conversation was incredibly easy. There were other bright teenaged relatives there who did not play football and would talk about other things besides football and vacations and when they ran out of things to talk about, they brought out their cell phones just like my son does. One of my mother's cousins talked about a grandson who was accused of cheating on a test because he made a perfect score while none of the other kids in the class passed it. He just happened to like to read and learn on his own and already knew the material.

We fit in with this group of relatives. Instead of thinking that we are rude they would talk to us about their favorite aps.