Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Teacher asking you about your child

Just be honest; it's what we try and teach our kids, right?

I always let the teacher know the list of books DS is reading (many at the same time, going back and forth without losing the gist of any); that we reprogrammed dad's old Robosapien using instructions we found online, etc. Why not? It's what we DID.

I also mention that he doesn't hate but isn't hip on repetitive math exercises, ie: flashcards (now, if we're talking word problems, which he LOVES, he makes up his own, and I mntion that, too).

I mention that he eats greedily, plays loudly, sings offkey, never shuts up, has trouble sitting still in mmusic class, had to have a patch for amblyopia, has horrible handwriting (which we are working on), is clumsy when running ---and for the very first time (now that we had him tested this summer) told them he finished the Percy Jackson series in one month. And finished all 7 Harry Potters as of June. Plus all the HT train your Dragon books, and Lemony Snickets. He just turned 8.

It's not bragging, it's truthtelling, and imho, can only help your child. I also sent a short, sweet supplementary email asking the teacher for appropriate titles/series they think are suitable for him to start next. We're out of DK encyclopedias at the house, and some of the boks he wants to read are what I call TMI titles, for an 8 yr old.

We have to special-order English books (as we live overseas) and I want to place a bulk order for Christmas, so again, it's not bragging--for us, it is essential knowledge; they have that knowledge, I need it, and there is nothing wrong with asking for it. Albeit, politely.

CM
I totally agree - not only about letting them know where he should be taught but about what makes a parent a problem rather than an advocate! We were completely honest ala Bookratt, what he IS doing in terms of reading and what he likes. And then we did mention his writing issues and what we have done to help him with it and we pointed put some social behaviors which he could use some help on. But we punted in one area - math - he has a pretty good understanding of multiplication, division, x as a placeholder and he loves negative numbers. He even likes getting someone to help him figure out how many of his trucks in his imaginary world does he need to transport whatever item his factory is making - but he is just getting rote computation, like adding skip counting etc. I think for awhile he just didn't want to devote the brain space to learning it because he couldn't see the point - now he can. We just left it at he reads murderous maths. He needs to learn the rote stuff and from what I read here it is much harder to be persuasive in that situation.

I hate that there will likely be no response. Sending something out and not hearing anything just makes me THINK people are talking. I should probably get over that!!!

DeHe

I am going to take a different tune on this only because I've been down this road. What the teacher is really looking for is "are there any behavioral issues we need to know about, struggles we need to work on, medical concerns, learning issues etc." I think the best approach would be to simply state, without going into too much detail, that your child is advanced, will most likely require additional enrichment or possibly more advanced work and add a comment that the teacher should contact you if further clarification is needed. I have found that teachers feel very threatened by "this is what Johnny is doing and this is what you need to do for him because what you need to teach the rest of the class, Johnny has been doing for the past 3 years." While your approach may be mild, I guarantee that the teacher will see it in a harsher manner than you intend. Not only that, but oddly enough, you may get the "they will all even out" approach by the teacher if not presented with caution. The reason I say this is that I spent the first several years of DC's life trying to explain my DC to the teacher each year and getting NOTHING out of it, other than, pull-outs, more challenging work (based on the grade level, but not on what my child really needed) and only needed to grade accellerated later on. If you DC is in K and you mention that he or she understands negative numbers and what not, the teacher is NOT going to give that child anything remotely close to what he is capable of doing. The only reason I state this again, is because I lived it and it's a nightmare and extremely frustrating to hear all of the things that the TEACHER thinks is challenging for your child, yet it's not all in reality. I know teachers can often mistake this honesty as a pushy parent. We all know you are not, but many of us have already been down this path and if we can prevent another from the walls we hit, it's worth a shot. By being honest and not reporting TOO much and opening the lines for communication, your odds might be better. Also, when conferences role around, that is a great time to bring up the conversation again if you haven't seen much prior to.

Good luck!

That's how I've interpreted it, too. I've mentioned that DD is slow to warm up to new situations, and that she struggles with timed drills and other tasks involving writing speed. But our schools spend the first couple of weeks doing assessment, and DD has not been in a situation where she was so far ahead at the beginning of a school year that she was the biggest-outlier-by-far.

I agree AlexsMom. Our school spends the first few weeks doing the same.