Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What to do with gifted two year olds

I have 26 month old twin girls who I believe are gifted (in different ways). I was a gifted child who was asked to skip 3rd grade and my parents declined. I want to try to get "ahead of the game" with them so they don't face many of the same frustrations I did as a child. My one daughter, in particular, is my bigger concern. I first thought she might be gifted when, at 19 months, she could identify all of the letters on her flashcards if the cards were randomly scattered about the room. By the time she turned two, she could count to 25 and could do it alternating numbers with another person and, now at 26 months, has basically memorized most of her books and can "read" them to herself or her sister and spell several words. Her ability to remember anything she is told is amazing. Her sister shows her "giftedness" more by her extremely vivid imagination and determination and concentration on fine motor skill tasks but I think she will be less frustrated in school. They show almost no interest in kids their own age and prefer to play with 4 year old + children. I'm lucky in that they have a summer birthday so they will be the youngest in their class but I am mostly concerned about my one daughter being bored to tears in preschool / early school and getting very frustrated.

They are home with our nanny now but we are starting to evaluate preschool. Are there any particular concerns I should have when looking at preschools? Any teaching methods that seem to work better for these kids? Any books / resources people can recommend?

It is nice to have a forum to discuss this as it is a difficult thing to discuss with people face to face. I know that in many ways, gifted children are "special needs" children and a lot of school aren't set up to deal with that.

Thanks in advance!

welcome! I am sure that you will find your answers and a great support system here on this board

The only thing that I found with my boys at this age is that the school need to be on board with allowing them to work at a faster pace, as their interests dictate. AFAIK it's really tricky to find in a regular pre school, you may need to consider a few alternatives such as immersion language schools or smaller types of schools.

You may want to look around for in-home daycares. My DD attended a "center" daycare and was extremely frustrated in the 1s and 2s class (things were better in the 3-5 class). My son goes to a small in-home daycare with children from 18 months to 4 and that was a great fit for him at 2. He was much happier in care than DD was at age 2 because of the more organic mix of ages; he was able to hang out and play with the older 3s and 4s. Of course, now that he is getting older himself this is becoming a concern again.

I don't have any experience with Montessori, but I have heard it CAN also work for these kids. A very play-based, freeform coop preschool could also be great.

I agree with ultramarina. My DS3 goes to a private in-home daycare three days a week. There are five other kids there and his caregiver dotes on him and makes sure she has level-appropriate toys and books for him (but really, he mostly wants to play with the trains, LOL and she provides him with plenty of those). He is free to be himself and explore whatever he wants and just play, play, play. There is no comparing to other kids or holding him back. He LOVES going.

He just started preschool a few weeks ago, going two mornings a week. It is a play-based school. They do not have a strict education mandate, rather they focus on social skills like manners, taking turns, being respectful, etc. Oh, and play, play, play! A good portion of the day is spent in free play. There is one structured activity, designated reading time, and snack time, but otherwise they play. My DD9 went to the preschool, too, and it is a fantastic fit for my kids because their differences are not glaringly obvious. If they have educational interests, we work on them at home. DS loves preschool so much that he wants to go everyday and does not want to leave when we pick him up.

Good luck with your decisions.

Another good experience here with a very unacademic, play-based nursery (daycare in your terminology). TBH I think playing with agemates is to some extent a skill that can be learned and is worth learning - I mean, it isn't necessarily obvious to them which of their interests are likely to be shared and what kind of playing is likely to be fun with agemates, and if they pick the wrong thing, they may have a frustrating experience, but that doesn't mean they can't find shared enjoyment, maybe with some adult help to get going.

We went to each school and put ourselves in Mr W's shoes in the rooms the place had and tried to imagine him there.

He was about on par with your kids and thus was so far beyond his age peers and so easily got along with much older kids, that we struggled with finding the right place. When we visited different locations, the stark difference in abilities between Mr W and his age peers made us very uncomfortable for him.

The non-academic daycares and the Montessori schools did not work for Mr W for long because he would retreat into his own world and he came to resent the lack of intellectual stimulation and the fact that his classmates could not talk.

He progressed from nanny, to in-home care with a home-school family, to Montessori (2y-3y), and then a one year acceleration into an academic PreK (3y to now). He could easily do the K program but we would not know what to do with a 4 year old who is ready for first grade.

In general, I'd look for a place that seems flexible and which has a lot of intellectual stimulation and where kids of mixed ages are together. I'd let them give their spiel then tour the rooms when the kids are there, looking at what the kids are doing and saying and what kinds of toys and stuff are there then seeing in your mind how the fit would be. Ask to see classes 1-2 years older than your kids. You are trying to find out if the staff can see and think on an individual kid basis and not in terms of rigid categories. I would not bring up GT at this point.

The other part of the equation is taking your child to the center and seeing what they gravitate to. Take them into the various rooms and then ask which one they like. It will then be obvious which one is a fit. Mr W sat down in the Pre K room and started working on a 30 piece puzzle and did it, read a few words out loud, etc. He sold himself.

We then brought up acceleration, asking what their criteria were, etc.

This is one approach.