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Anyone have any good stranger reaction stories to share?

My DS5 does not have much opportunity to interact with strangers on a daily basis but I was surprised at some of the responses we got last week on our flight to Florida. I know DS is advanced but after very limited interactions people kept commenting on how "smart" he was (which doesn't help his ego problem).

One example was that after our plane landed a few people in the rows near us stopped us on our way out because they just had to meet the young man that they could hear chatting away on the plane. They had expected a child at least a few years older based on his vocabulary, topics of conversation and calm behavior.

There were also lots of other amazed reactions after DS and I took turns reading some of his MTH book in the airport. People were getting up and coming over to congratulate DS on a great job reading.

We got many blank stares playing a game of mental math (with multiplying, dividing, word problems and adding and subtraction negative numbers).

Reading every sign in the airport as well as identifying different airline planes as they landed also drew lots of attention from the other travelers.

Even the simple things, like DS controlling and listening to his IPod seemed to draw attention.

It was the first time I really felt DS was really different from other kids his age. There were so many kids in the airport and on the plane but it seemed everyone was amazed and focused on DS. I have to admit is was a little awkward and a little frightening. I just want DS to be able to fit in.

DS2 has asthma. Recently we took him to an after-hours (kids) medical center. The MD spoke to DS in an overly saccharine "young" manner. DS was not listening to the MD or cooperating. I tried to politely ask the MD to speak to DS as if he was an adult or an older child. Once he did that DS, much to the MD's surprise, was cooperative and participatory in the MD's evaluation.

I'm always amazed by that saccharine voice, too, Ann. Do people really talk to kids like that? Does it really work?

They're not munchkins or dolls, they're people. Can't we just talk to them. If we use a term they don't understand, can't we define it for them?

Odd.

Oh, and I used to evaluate a babysitter by how quickly they realized he was bright. The best turned to me after no more than 30 seconds with my then 2yo and whispered, so that he couldn't hear, "Of course, you realize he's very bright?"

We LOVED her!

I agree wholeheartedly. It made *me* cringe to listen to the MD speak to DS that way. Although, to be fair, I'm not a fan of the saccharine tone in any situation. I think that's why DS loves his regular pediatrician. His RegPed has the Bueller deadpan/monotone down pat. DS likes that his RegPed addresses him as if DS was an adult visiting the doctor (independent of his parents).

She sounds wonderful! Too bad we can't share her.

She retired, though I literally BEGGED her not to!

We've gotten ALOT of comments DS lately because DS7 has taken to carrying around thick chapter books with him where ever he goes. And we have the opposite situation. DS is in first grade, but could easily pass for a kindergartener. He literally read an hour the other night in a crowded room of people and a bunch of people came up and commented. People would ask him what he was reading and then he'd give them the look that said - don't bug me, I'm reading a good book and just flash them the cover. Guess we need to work on manners! We've also gotten a couple of comments this week on vocab. But generally, DS tries to mask vocab and ability when playing with other kids. Only if an adult goes out their way to engage him in more adult discussion does he "come out".

The saccharine voice thing drives me nuts too! It sets both my kids off. They become immediately belligerant if they get that tone.

Seriously, the way people talk to children drives me nuts, and ds5 nuts as well. He hates being spoken down to.

We had a good one at Thanksgiving last year ... we were at my step-mother's mother's house for the holiday. I know the family well from growing up, but we live out of state now and they see B only rarely.

They have a family tradition of playing games for Thanksgiving, typically mini-golf and peanut toss. B went to take his turn at peanut toss; there were 4 silver bowls of various sizes, each labeled with a different point value (5, 10, 20, 40). B took his turn, tossing peanuts, and was adding them up as he went along: "5! 15! 25! 45!!!" And when his turn was over, he stayed and added for other people as they tossed. People were blown away and commenting right and left; it was a little awkward for me, especially because it really wasn't a big deal for B.

The kicker, though, was when my aunt's new husband (they have two boys, ages 11 and 8) came up to me afterward and said, "Now really, how did you get him to do that?" Excuse me? I told him I didn't do anything, that's just the way B is. I got the feeling the guy didn't believe me.

On our recent trip to Disney, he also got lots of weird looks ... we met a little girl on one bus who I would bet my life is EG or, more likely, PG. She and Benj sat and chatted for a good 20 minutes; her mother and I were dying! My step-mother just looked kind of irritated, tee hee.

Random thought... What do your children call you? I've noticed that DS2 calls my DH "Daddy" when he wants something; "Dad" in regular conversation; and "Rob" when he's trying to get serious w/ DH.

I also hate when people talk down to my kids. DH and I were just talking about that this morning. The girls are playing all-stars for basketball, and the coach does that all the time! I was telling DH how much it bugged me. Last night, he was telling them, "Now this thing is called the board" as he pointed to the backboard and "You guys are too young to be taught about blocking out. Just try to get the ball after someone shoots it." DH was furious! He was supposed to help coach, but he's out of town. My girls were rolling their eyes and not paying much attention to the coach when he was talking.

This drives me bonkers! I'm sorry Pink's DDs.

DS8 takes along plenty of books when we go to cattle shows. He left one laying in view last November and a good friend who just retired from being an elementary school principal said, "He's reading that?". When I nodded affirmatively he just shook his head and said, "that's a hard one for a lot of junior high kids".

I usually get "Ma" or "Mom". My son does refer to me with other people by my first name.

Ds still calls me "Mama." It's so cute.

I have had to get used to people watching and listening to us because of my son's differences.

At 2 1/2 he started spelling some words instead of saying the words--his name, stop, go, girl, boy and he was very talkative and his voice carries really well so people really started noticing him them, but they didn't say anything. We just got some strange looks.

I tried to ignore other people looking at us and just have fun with it. My son enjoyed identifying words that I spelled out for him so I didn't stop when we were in public. Older school age kids would see us doing this and they would spell out their hardest spelling words for him and he was usually able to identify them. My son, the only kid at home, loved the attention. Before he started kindergarten some kids would also ask him math questions, including multiplication and negative numbers and he was pretty good at that too, but not as good as he was with words. He just doesn't love math the way he does words and literature and history and science.

When he was about four, a middle school aged gifted cousin who met him for the first time, told us she had heard him using metaphor and simile when he talked to her and she was really surprised at this. When he was around older kids it wasn't unusual to have one of them run up to me to tell me something he had just said. When he joined a musical theater group at 4 1/2 we got a lot of comments from the older kids. One teen aged boy told us he thought my son had to be autistic or something when he memorized over 300 words of script and all the words to the songs in Babes in Arms. When my son was seven, he said he thought my son was a adult in a little kid's body.

Doctors told us that he seemed to be "high IQ" and that he would do well in school. The month he turned four, his doctor called in another doctor to watch him as I spelled out words from a probably 4th or 5th grade level book that he had never seen before and my son identified all the words correctly, but he wouldn't just read the book and I later learned that he had vision issues along with motor dyspraxia and hypotonia. Because my son is twice exceptional and cannot get an appropriate education in public school and would would also have to deal with bullies, we must homeschool.

Strangers often tell us he talks like an adult. When he was barely seven, he read an interesting newspaper article to his dad as we were eating our continental breakfast at our motel and then went on to tell us his opinion. He started talking to other people there and as we were leaving the motel clerk told us that he predicted that he would some day be a politician.

People like to predict what he will be some day and usually they say college professor, engineer, or politician, but his sister and a friend add stand up comic to that list. Since he has family members in all of these professions, except stand up comic, I think it will be interesting to see what he ends up doing later in life. Maybe he will try them all. My husband's former boss, a Mensa member, was a lawyer who had first studied to be a doctor. A woman that worked in his office had a law degree but decided that she was happier as a librarian, then tried an office job that required legal knowledge. I think that is the really good thing about being so smart. There are so many possibilities to choose from.

My son is usually okay with people watching him. He loves performing in front of people and he loves making people laugh with his ability to make jokes about any situation. Sometimes he will make some smart remark when he notices people watching him, like once we were having lunch in a museum cafe and my son was talking when everybody else stopped and started watching him. He stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked around and said something like "It's really quiet in here all of a sudden, did somebody call for prayer?"

My 5 year old (nearly 6) loves dinosaurs. Loves, loves, loves them, ever since he was a little past one. It took us a while to realize what was going on, but by the time he was ~2 1/2, he knew the names of a ton of them. He would carry on a conversation for 20 or 30 minutes or more in which he would name his favorite dinosaurs and make up stories about them or talk about how T. Wex had two fingers but Allosauwus had thwee and... etc.

Anyway, the typical reaction of people to this has always been to smile beatifically. Some sigh and say "I loved dinosaurs when I was a kid and I still do." People who barely know him give him gifts (dinosaurs). His little friends in kindergarten draw pictures of dinosaurs and give them to him.

This is sooo different from how people react to my elder son, who is highly advanced in reading and maths. People somehow seem threatened by a 5 year old who can do division or read chapter books. Yet a 5-year-old mad paleontolgist seems to be completely endearing to most people, even if they hear him matter-of-factly making statements like "the dromeosaurs lived in the late cretaceous and the asteroid got them and now they're extinct. I'm going to use my time portal and go back and rescue them."

I have to say, it's pretty cute. And I have to add that I never knew how wonderful dinosaurs could be until my Little Dude came into my life.

Val

((wink - Val))
I always thought the phrase was 'got extincted.'

Giggle - Recently I wondered with DS11 if all little boys could be divided into ones who love Dinos v. one who love trains or trucks...

Here's plug for Rimm's reminder how important it is to handle comments from strangers.
When the strangers comment on 'smart' or 'pretty' - qualities that are inborn and the child has no control over -
Smile, and in an "Thanks for the compliment, you are so perceptive" tone, answer back with a subtle switch the enphasises a character quality that you want to encourage.
"Why yes, she has such wonderful curiosity (or persistience or consentration or whatever!)

It is weird for kids to hear comment after comment on a quality that they were 'born with' or to hear us squirm when they 'stick out.' Much better to graciously accept and re-direct to a compliment of a character trait that you want to encourage.

And if this sounds like a patronizing way to treat people, well, ((shrug)) I think it's worth it!

Grinity

Funny you should say this...I swear by this observation!

I have yet to meet a boy who loves both wheeled vehicles AND dinosaurs. They might like one okay and love the other, but there always seems to be a marked preference for one and only one.

I have wondered if it's somehow related to engineering vs. humanities or math vs. science, but I have yet to make that leap stick, even for my own uncritical generalization.

My DS was never interested in either dino's or trains/trucks.

He was remarkably fond of soil, mud, dirt in all its forms. We took him to Washington DC when he was 4 and I have pictures of him playing in the mud in front of all the major monuments and the Smithsonian!

My son (now 4) rather likes dinosaurs, and he had a "dinosaur month" a while back (i.e., all dino/all the time), but he's loved his wooden trains since he was about 1. Now it's more about track building than the trains themselves, but trains reign.

As for reactions, we've been getting smiles and comments from people since DS was 2 1/2, especially when we'd go to our huge hosp/clinic and DS would read all the signs and elevator numbers. The other day at Great Clips, I got kind of a funny look from a mom (whose kid looked to be about 8) when DS4 read the sign and said "hey mom, you can just get a shampoo here for $5 if you want." That was the first not-really-positive look I've received. Up till now it's been happy reactions. I guess those days are over.

He was probably a victim of the 1:1000 thing that gets very bright kids in school. They've never seen a kid who'll stay still, so....

I used to work on an ambulance and had to spend time in ERs. If it makes you feel any better about it, you would not believe how much a toddler can thrash around during suturing. They scream, they kick, etc etc.

Docs have to use "papoose boards" to keep everyone safe. The lidocaine injection is a sharp poke and the medicine causes a burning sensation as it's being injected that continues until it takes effect. Next, a total stranger comes along with a needle and thread. If the doctor is suturing near an eye and the child jerks away, he could lose an eye. If he jerks away while the doc is pulling the suture through the wound, he could make his wound even worse. And let's not forget that the doc could get stabbed. Etc. etc.

I understand your point and believe that your son would have been just fine without the papoose board; one of mine (ONE) would probably be the same. But at the same time, I can see their point. The stakes are pretty high, and given how the vast majority of kids react to suturing, they're probably right to err on the side of caution.

The doctor probably just should have been honest with your son and told him "I'm sorry I did that. See, most kids jerk around and so.... If this ever happens again and I'm around, things might be different..."

Val

My ds got 8 stitches around his eye last May just after he turned 5, and believe me, he needed to be wrapped and restrained -- he was thrashing all over the place! I felt awful for the kid, but he *did* need to be strapped down -- and I can't blame him!

Then again, he was freaking out the whole time, so it was pretty clear that he needed to be wrapped. Anytime anyone approached him to even look at the eye, he'd literally start to shake and clamber closer to me and start howling anew.

I've always been tempted to lean over and stage whisper: "Hormone Problem - He's 17."

Just to see the looks on that theoretical person's face. My DS11 probably would have thrown a tantum, though.

Not very nice, I know, but I get some solace from the thought in the privacy of my mind.

Grinity

Haircuts?
DS needed a papoose board for haircuts until age 5, and they didn't provide those. He said that it hurt when they cut the hair. I figured that he didn't like the pulling feeling on his scalp. He may have also been frightened by the pointing things.

By age 5 we found a place with a nice lady and a VCR. A year later he discovered buzz cuts and was fine from then on.

Aggg. Had forgotten that!
No wonder almost nothing embarasses me anymore.
Grinity

DD8 would still need to have to papoose board!!!! She won't let anyone near her!
DD5 is the unusually calm one. She had a gash on her forehead and she was so calm and quiet, SO unusual for her, I was very fearful she had some sort of concussion and was asking for a scan.
Then, when the Dr. injected the lidocaine, she sat motionless but screamed at the top of her lungs for like 3 or 4 minutes straight. Seriously, motionless. Even the Dr. looked at me like what is up with that strange little girl!!!!!!
Then she looked at us and said. Sorry, I went a little Crazy Daisy there for a minute and stayed quiet and motionless for the rest of the time. I still think it's somewhat strange!
Also, I've noticed as they get older their "differences" aren't as glaring and you get less perplexed stares, if that helps.

I

((Big hugs)) to all your kiddos. I've really enjoyed these stories. I'm amazed by our collective children.

Doctors and dentists are always amazed by my DS who loves anatomy and medical terms and doesn't flinch at a blood draw. The pediatrician has given my son some strange looks after hearing what DS has to say....he-he!

Maybe I should clue him in.

I love this! I'm going to have to start working on my arsenal of fun comments. Maybe i'll get to use something like this sometime (if i'm out of my smallish town, anyway!)

I should have mentioned that the reason we were at Great clips instead of home. I usually cut DS's hair, because he hates haircuts, and I guess when I do it, at least he gets to watch TV. Well, he was complaining so much about getting his hair cut at all, I threatened "if you don't let me do it, we have to go to the barber." So he agreed to let me cut. I cut a giant chunk off, and he screamed, "I change my mind, let's go to the hair cutting place!" ugh. I give up. He can look like a girl if he wants from now on.

When I was 4 my mom and I were at a big hotel.

We got on the elevator on a high floor with about a dozen men.

The elevator DROPPED.

When we stopped, I remarked:

"OOOH. Mommy, that elevator jiggled my penis!"

When the elevator doors closed, we could hear the men laughing.

Mostly we have had reactions to ds8s inability to SIT STILL! Altough that has gotten considerably better in the last year or so. And people do tend to be amused by a medically accurate body parts vocab.
One lady stopped me in the grocery store to tell me my son must be gt, back when he was still a toddler, because he was singing about all the food. Now he is 8, he keeps a bit more to himself.
My dd2 is often the center stage character with her singing and dancing and general carrying on; people usually just say stuff like: she MUST keep you on your toes! She is under the weather this week, so I'm actually missing all the action!!

My DD-then-2 and I were at Kohl's in the shoe area. DD started naming all of the letters she saw on the shoe boxes, no big deal to me and it kept her occupied. A man who worked at the store stopped and asked how old she was. He was amazed how much she knew. Then he started quizzing her, pointing at letters and asking what they were. He held up two or three fingers and asked how many were there -- DD would reply without needing to count them out; she just knew.

I didn't know what to think of this guy, but it was interesting to see DD answer a stranger's questions like that. I had never seen her do something like that for an unfamiliar person. The man left, walked by again and started asking her more questions -- maybe he didn't believe it the first time or something.

My DH and I were just figuring out that this wasn't typical 2-year-old behavior, so I didn't think it was such an unusual thing. Go figure!

I SO love reading all these stories - it makes me feel not so alone! I remember bringing my DS when he was around 1.5 years old to a staff meeting when I was still a teacher...it was at the end of summer, right before school was to begin and I couldn't find anyone to watch him...so he came with me - I brought his favorite board books with me and some other goodies and I still remember the numerous comments from others that they couldn't believe that he sat still through almost an hour meeting and was just glued to looking through books.

The only thing that really drives me batty is that people are SO quick to make comments about how "amazing" this or that is that my son does or says but strangers are also so quick to judge him by his size....he is only 5 but he honestly looks like he is at least 7 or 8 years old and has always looked much older than he is....so when he was 3 and was acting emotionally like a typical 3 year old, people would look and say, you are much too old to be acting like that...then I tell them, he is only 3 and they apologize immediately....argghh

My Ds5 is still wearing clohes for 18-24 months, so he is tiny. So we get lots and lots of comments.


About a year and a half ago we were in sainsburys a major supermarket when there was an a toy that he wanted down from a high shelf. He was nagging and nagging and having said no, I moved to the next aisle. There was a group of about five or six staff re-arranging a display. All of a sudden ds says in a very loud voice, " This is a customer announcement, There is a little boy in aisle ten who wants a toy from the top shelf. Would the staff in aisle ten please help him!"

The staff were astonished and of course thought it really cute. He is a real player.

Another time when barely three I had said he could have a packet of sweets as he was good. When we got to the sweetie aisle I offered the option of several. Quick as a flash he said, "I need nine packs,"
"No way." I said
"Yes I do, it says three for two on that sign, thats nine!"

Thats what first alerted me to the fact that he could read!

Three plus four plus two IS nine... I can see his logic. Great story!

Belle,

DD8 was like your son. We used to take her out to dinner at 10p.m. in the city with friends and she LOVED it. I really think between age 1 and 2 she felt like she was one of the grownups. Never crying, never fussing, just watching and imitating.

But she also looked(and still does) much older because of height. I used to get comments as to why she still had a bottle, wasn't walking yet, etc. when it was still very much developmentally appropriate for her to have a bottle or not walk yet.

DD6 always runs hot and never likes to wear a coat, even in winter. Now you all know, it your kid doesn't want to wear that coat, it isn't staying on long! There's only so many times you can get that coat on and zipped on one outing!
A very sweet looking old lady came up and scolded me in her passive grandmotherly way about how she should be wearing her coat and how she was going to get sick and how awful it all was!

I told her to shut up and mind her own business and walked away!


So bad, but she caught me at the wrong time on the wrong day!

I'm with you, 'Neato. That's one battle I don't fight.

"It's your body, kid, and you suffer the consequences if you're dumb about it." (Within reason, of course!)

MYOB, lady!