Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Travel and the unmitigated disaster that followed

Hey All,

I wasn't sure whether to post this under parenting or preschool, but I need some help. DS (2y2m) and I went on a big adventure to Canada. We road planes, trains, trucks and basically had the time of our lives. However during the trip his sleep was basically ignored and very disrupted. Even when I tried to make it work out for naps etc there was a bit of friction with others on the trip.

When we came back it was like someone had snatched up my sweet rather easy going boy and replace him with a tantrum beast.

Now when I suggest or tell him something he doesn't want to do he tells me, "it's not time for that Mommy, it is time for ..." Ok, that wouldn't be so bad, but if there are shoes, shorts, eating in his high chair, or bath involved there is a tantrum. Enter timeouts and much frustration.

We have been back for seven days. He has had at least that many tantrums. He seems to be going through some growth spurt/developmental milestones as well. He has begun to pretend fairly extensively and seems to have begun reading/identifying words. All of this while throwing the fits of his life.

I am wondering if my expectations need additional readjustment. He is after all just 2. We tend to ask him to meet or slightly exceed his current level of comprehension of rules, tasks, games etc. Any helpful advice or ideas for easing the way back to a normal amount of 2yo would be awesome.

Thanks,

Ah Scalder....
Time will heal some of this, but our intense kids tend to react intensely!

While you were traveling, he probably got used to 'seeing and learning' new things all the time. It's going to be hard for him to settle back into routine.

As always I recommend 'upping the ante' as far as excited, factual, verbal praise - see the book 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' by Lisa Bravo for more details.

It is also true that vacations lead to developmental leaps and developmental leaps lead to tantrums.

I would keep those reasonable limits in place and as clear as possible, and try to calm and sooth yourself "emotional earplugs?" while the needed tantrums fly.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Unfortunately I can't remember which book this came from, it might have been "Raising Your Spirited Child" (terrible name, great book), but one of the most useful things I have ever read in a parenting book was to think of your child as a growing pyramid of blocks. Every 6 months or so they get another block and in order to have a well designed pyramid they can't just plonk that block on the top of the current pyramid, they have to knock it down and start again with all of the blocks. When they are going through a stage of "up-skilling" and re-integration expect outbursts. I felt like it really explained my kids' tendency to track along beautifully for a number of months and then fall apart for a while and then get back on track.

I think that was Raising your spirited child because I read it too. I found it really useful too. It reminded me of when they were babies and they woul have a week of disturbed sleep, then suddnly start doing somthing new, like crawling for example. Sometimes it isn't that obvious, but I definately find my hardest times coincide with developmental leaps. These stages are AWFUL when you are in them, but they do pass!

Another possibility might be a sleep debt. When people miss heaps of sleep, it can take a xery, very long time to pay back that debt. Again, the only cure for that is time and sleep.

Yes, he is just 2!

Think outside the gifted box for a moment.

YOu have a child, well no, you have a toddler!

Toddler's need consistency, continuity, predictability. And even then, at this age, they'll buck the system b/c developmentally he's a regular old 2, despite his intellectual abiilities!

Keep your parenting firm, your rules clear and your consequences regular.

He'll be changing at lightening speed which is all the more reason to keep something consistent - YOU.

JMO.