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    Joined: Apr 2011
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    Entire school team-admim, psychologist, and teachers are all on board with our DS skipping a grade. Achievement, IQ, grade level and upper grade level assessments all validated that he needs to be significantly challenged more. Even moving up he'd still score in top 10%... Even our son is on board. So why am I SO nervous? I've done the research. I've seen that gaps can be filled in. We are confident that he is capable of it academically. What is the real danger in leaving him where he is? Have parents who've had their child skip an upper elementary or lower middle school grade seen gaps fill in as easily as everyone says it will? What about the very real social piece? What about when they hit puberty later? Any concerns with later dating or college entry below 18?? I need advice parents who've been there or experts who know! And, how do I challenge our highly creative, bright kid more at home? What other things should I be looking into?

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    "Social Piece?"
    I had the whole social package... to the nth degree. Didn't help me much, though, after coasting through school (enjoying all the social stuff... wheeeee...), because when I showed up in college I was actually expected to apply myself. I never figured out until much later that it was the total lack of challenge in school that left me so ill-prepared for college.

    -- -- --

    I'm the last person to suggest that grade-skips are the perfect solution. 'cause they're not. But we're in a situation where grade-skips have been the only alternative for our son. Our idiot state is essentially BK, so the GT program consists only of a letter offering a mixture of kudos and condolences. "Yay he's smart, Boo there's no money."

    He's now 9 and just finishing 6th grade after his second skip. This was the first full year where he has had to actually apply himself to get those A grades. The first 4.5 years of rolling out of bed knowing all the answers were cruel in that they gave him a false sense of accomplishment... along with absolutely no appreciation for facing & overcoming a challenge (other than learning to tie his shoes).

    Trust me, nary a day passes that I don't fret over the long-term consequences of the choices we've made. But just five minutes in a 4th grade classroom makes it painfully obvious that he's in the right situation. (He'd actually be in 3rd grade in many states considering his fall birthday.)

    -- -- --

    It's been awhile since I've seen anyone mention "A Nation Deceived," which I think is excellent reading for people contemplating grade-skips or other methods of accommodation.

    "A Nation Deceived"
    http://www.nationdeceived.org/

    There's an executive summary for the proverbial wetting of the feet: (http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Nation_Deceived/Executive_Summary.aspx), and then the reader can plow into the full report for all the gory details.

    You should also take some time to read some of the Personal Stories at the Nation Deceived website from students, teachers & parents:
    http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Personal_Stories/Read.aspx

    And lastly, there's the wonderful article, "What a Child Doesn't Learn."
    Opening quote:
    Quote
    If during the first five or six years of school, a child earns good grades and high praise without having to make much effort, what are all the things he doesn�t learn that most children learn by third grade?
    The full article is available here:
    http://www.wku.edu/academy/?p=430


    Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. - Fran Lebowitz
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    Thank you. I haven't read the last article, which I will, but I did read the Nation Deceived pieces, and even showed them to my child. It's nice to know that you still fret over the decision even if you know it is the right thing to do...that is how I feel.

    In our state, there is nada-not even testing to "prove it" unless you fight for it. We were told by a school psychologist, what will our child get in a public school with these scores and was told "Nada". There is no funding, no G/T coordinator, no responsibility to look for bright kids, etc. Acceleration is also incredibly rare so these kids just stay put and are expected to continually perform to "prove" they are smart.

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    I don't have experience with a skip, but without a skip until too late (I did post-secondary enrollment for my entire senior year of high school, so I went to college one year early and was young with a late summer birthday). I never had to study, so I never learned to study. When things got a little challenging in college, I chose easier courses, thinking I must not really be smart, and all those past As and test scores were just flukes or due to the fact that I was "good at taking tests." I really didn't realize I was very gifted, even though I was in some GT pullouts in grade school, until I read Deborah Ruf's book "Left Behind" (now "5 Levels of Gifted").

    In elem, I remember not raising my hand to answer questions even though I thought I knew the answer because I noticed that no one else in the class was raising their hand, so I must not really have the right answer. Kind of a backwards situation - I thought I was like everyone else, so I must not know the answer either. I finally did raise my hand in grad school, because it was part of the grade, but I still figured I was going to be wrong. My never learning to study followed me to grad school, where I was did the same thing I always had done - cram the night before an exam.

    As for the social piece, I didn't make any "soulmate" type friends until I was 17, and they were older than me. Although a different perspective since I'm a girl, I did date young and dated older guys, but that was even before I went to college. I turned out OK. smile I fit in just fine a year early at college, and I wished that the post-secondary enrollment option had come around earlier because I would have jumped at it in earlier high school grades too (I participated in the first year it was offered). Is PSEO an option in your state (dual enrollment in high school/local colleges)? It was a free program in our state.

    My husband was the youngest in his class with a fall birthday, and he actually didn't like being the youngest because of sports. But he was also very underchallenged throughout school. And he didn't have a growth spurt until he was 18 and out of high school, so it wouldn't have made any difference if he had skipped; he was the smallest without a skip too.

    Because of all our bad experience with school, we tried to avoid it with our son, and he has essentially been skipped twice. He skipped first in our local school district, which didn't turn out to be enough, so we now drive him 45 miles to a GT school that is working a year ahead. He recently told someone who asked him if he was going into 2nd grade next year, "No, I skipped first and then transferred to a really hard school." And he said it in an excited voice, not a complaining one. I still worry about whether we did the right thing, but clearly he's fitting in better academically and socially than he did before.

    Good luck! I think it's great that everyone is supportive of the skip.

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    Thank you everyone. At this juncture, since our DS is so in support of the skip, we are supporting it. It's nice to have ideas of what to put into a plan and thoughts on others who've been there in one role or another...

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    My DD just finished 8th and will be going to HS in the fall. After 6th grade, she skipped straight into 8th. The first month was a little rough. At her middle school, 6th 7th and 8th all wear different colored shirts, so it was obvious the first day of school when she was wearing dark blue and her old classmates were wearing baby blue that something was up.
    She ended the year with straight A's including the A in the high school Algebra class she took. She even got the highest GPA in the 8th grade two out of the three times it was given. (Pretty good for a 1500 student middle school).
    She was much happier this year, and found friends in her advanced classes to relate to.
    However, even with the skip, she didn't need to study. We still haven't managed to challenge her to the point where she has had to develop the study skills she will need in college.
    I have loaded down DD's freshman year course schedule with demanding classes (Geometry, Adv Biology, Chemistry, Spanish I & II, etc.) and hope she will have to crack the books this year.
    I worry about her starting college a little young, but I also worry that without the challenge, she will start college without study skills.
    Good Luck with your skip.

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    Hopefully your daughter's school will have AP classes, etc. She can also try to study for the PSAT and SAT since acing tests like that will be very helpful for her future.
    I think deciding on a skip may also depend on the resources that your local school can offer. Our local gifted program starts in fourth grade. Through it, the kids take Geometry starting in 8th grade, not 9th grade like your daughter. The regular program starts the kids in Geometry in 9th grade. For us, a grade skip would put my kids at a disadvantage for study skills, etc. compared to the other kids. If my kids skipped a grade, they would be taking the Honors Geometry in 7th grade.

    Last edited by jack'smom; 07/04/11 08:23 AM.

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