Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Gifted Imposter Syndrome

So, I gotta think that this whole "gifted imposter syndrome" thing is probably more common in parents of 2e kids. I mean, we all know that our kids are brighter than what they are given credit for in the school system because we see them excel at home but to have them identified as gifted is pretty amazing given the struggles and challenges they face. For me there was a huge relief and a lot of satisfaction of having "proof" that my boy is as bright as I think he is ~ but a tiny voice that thinks is he really THAT bright?! Just curious if this is the case for most parents of 2e kids?

I am really struggling to make sense of just how bright my 2E girl actually is. And REALLY struggling to believe that my straight gifted DD is that bright either... miss 2Es other Es have been much more evident up until now and miss "just" gifted seems so "normal" to me. I feel like a complete freak talking to school about my 2E girl being gifted AND equally so trying to get special accommodations for #2.

I totally agree that parents of 2e syndrome are likely to suffer from imposter syndrome. I know I certainly do. But I also think that gifted parents that don't feel particularly gifted or parents of multiple gifted chilren...ie people whose "normal" is gifted...have a hard time seeing how their gifted children are any "smarter" than other children.....I mean doesn't everyone perform well above grade level???...well, apparently not...but everytime I look at a standardized test that says my DS is performing multiple grades above, I really think this is "normal" to me..and, therefore, no big deal. Now I'm rambling:)

Can someone define these terms? "Gifted imposter syndrome" and "2e syndrome"? I feel like I just joined a conversation in the middle and missed the beginning, sorry... I have a gifted 2e 16 year old (non-verbal learning disability) -- gifted enough to be accepted at Davidson THINK and excel there, so I don't think we have any imposter-ism going on. But am curious about the origin of these terms (recent articles? other posts on this board?). Just want to understand them clearly.

intparent has term syndrome

Maybe Does the "gifted imposter syndrome" mean that a parent thinks their kid is gifted, when in fact they are not? I am sort of assuming 2E syndrome just means the kid is 2E, that one is not too hard.

Sorry. I think "2e syndrome" above was a typo.

Impostor syndrome, as I understand it, refers to someone whose child is identified as gifted, whether through scores or in some other way, and who starts to worry that maybe their child really isn't (that) gifted. I think it might sometimes have aspects of denial about it, but it often seems to be triggered by comparisons with what other gifted children are doing ("My child doesn't seem as smart as that child"), coupled with thoughts about the variability of testing, etc.

In our case... it absolutely is the case. Every day in some way or another, there is a voice in the back of my head asking "Really???".

We recently got a couple of kittens, and wound up putting the litter box in our downstairs bathroom, in the under-sink cabinet, leaving the door on that side open. DS5 decided he didn't like the litter box smell, so without mentioning anything to us he "solved" the problem by drenching the entire bathroom in two bottles of Febreze. It was dripping off some stuff. My wife said something like, "So this is what it means to be ultra-bright, hmmm?"

Yes, 2e syndrome was a typo...I just meant 2e child.

I agree with locouno's definition of imposter syndrome.

Here's a link I just found: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/imposter.htm

I just skimmed some of the info there, and it seems like the term might also refer to a gifted person feeling like they themselves are an impostor. Here I've so far only seen people use the term in referring to parents.

Okay, thanks, I am caught up now This really describes how both D and I were feeling about this time last year, I think. She had been admitted to Davidson THINK, but between getting admitted and actually going to the program we had gotten her non-verbal learning disability diagnosis. So... were those super high verbal scores really just a compenstation for her LD? I think we were both worried that she would flop at THINK, and it would be a big setback for her. I wasn't even sure it was a good idea for her to go... But she ended up shining instead, giving both of us a big confidence boost in her abilties. I think we are both past any worries about this, but I sure do know that feeling.

I'm at that point right now with DS8 going to the Epsilon Camp. I worry that they made a mistake in admitting him, and that his 2e-ness (autism) makes him appear more logical than he is, and he won't really understand more complex math, and that he will not have his love of math anymore when he flops.

Mind you, this is all going on just inside my head, because DS himself is extremely confident of his abilities and very much in love with math. (He carried his calculator on a family trip "in case he ran into math.")

Do you ever get over imposter syndrome? How many more times are DS's abilities going to have be proven to me before I just relax and believe it?

Kate

Well... maybe Epsilon camp will get you over the hump I think as parents, sometimes we struggle because even though our kids may be HG or PG, they are not adults yet. So we can still see the weaknesses and soft spots that likely will "firm up" as they get older. At least one of his parents will be with him at camp, so you can see how it is working for him. I sat at home and bit my nails while D was at THINK.

That is hilarious, I know over the years we've had many of those "so this is gifted huh?" moments. But your story reminds me of a time my then 4yo DD spilled a cup of juice on the floor in the kitchen, I walked in to find orange cones and yellow "ribbon" made of construction paper surrounding the spill and a sign that said "wet floor"

That is hilarious!

Kate, I hope you'll report back on Epsilon Camp. We considered it for DS... and might do it in a future summer if you find it welcoming.

DeeDee