Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments To skip a grade or not..

That's an interesting story, and amazing how it all worked out. I have a sense that you were very careful in how you spoke with your ds about the skip. I'd be curious how that conversation went. It looks like my dcs will be at the same level in math for the next several years and they are 3 years apart. Trying to find some ways to talk about this. So far it's not been a great thing.

That's what I recall on the form as well, but the book that was supposed to be used in conjunction with the form gave more info about filling it out and said, as least at the time, that the +1SD should only be considered if the child was much older for grade having just missed the K cut off or was in that same spot and looking to start K early.

I called Belin-blank regarding using the IAS with a PG child and multiple skips. They told me that it is not designed to give results for that situation. It is only designed for single grade skips and not radical acceleration of any kind.

Ohhh... interesting. Don't most educators call a "single skip" radical acceleration to start with??


(Really not understanding that.)


ROFL!!! LOVE IT.

Yeah, I think that something that is easy to forget is that, sure, you need some level of cooperation from the child... er-- or at least "compliance" if nothing else--

but children being, you know-- children?

They aren't always going to want what is best for them, or be able to see past the emotional landscape of being their chronological age.

Would most parents ask a seventeen-year-old about college plans? Absolutely-- and probably defer to them in most cases.

Is that appropriate PARENTING at age nine? Probably not.

KWIM?

Thank you for all the feedback. It is great to find other who have faced a similar dilemma.

We have made several decisions about my sons education without giving him a choice.. In this case he feels the fifth grade kids will pick on him. He has seen that sort of bullying at school before. It could be he is overreacting since he is pretty sensitive (especially about being different).

The principal told me again today that she will not "create a special curriculum" for him is he stays in 4th grade. He can stay in 4th or move to 5th. She advised against letting him work ahead in math if he stays in 4th. Pretty discouraging. I (nicely) let her know that he will work ahead to his heart's content.

My preference is to have him accelerated by subject but stay in 4th. My next stop is to have another discussion with the district to make sure I understand all the options. It seems unbelievable that he is the only kid in this district in this situation. This is th Boulder Valley School District, by the way.

Thanks again, and I hope this thread is useful to others..

Grinity, I love the family motto. I will be stealing it. Thanks, Kathleen

Well done, Kathleen!
So was this past bullying done at this school or at other schools?
If it was at this school, then I would bring up that concern with the Principle and see if she is more willing to allow the subject accelerations.

Personally, I think she is doing you a favor by 'playing hardball' and only offering the limited choice of 'be a normal 5th grader' or 'be an unhappy 4th grader and make the best of it.' Is he really safe from bullying if he's only attending 5th grade for half his subjects? I doubt it. IF the bullying is a problem - then solve it!!!

If I were the Principle, and I heard a parent saying: 'I agree he should be in 5th grade, but he's afraid of your students.' it would inspire me to pay attention and think outside the box.

Then I would brainstorm how to solve the bullying problem:
1) Creating an anti-bullying program at the school so that every child of every agegroup starts getting the message that it's the audience that creates an atmousphere where bullying happens, and it's up to the audience-members to speak up and stop unfair treatment of classmates.
2) Set up a team-taught combined 4th-5th grade classroom with some of DS's favorite friends so that the whole group will be together and his current friends can stand up the whatever 5th graders are causing a problem, and DS can have his full skip to 5th grade without lossing his social supports.
3) Get social skills training of DS, at school, afterschool or through Martial Arts so that DS grows in his self confidence and skills to handle difficult social challenges.

And you may be right - DS might well be projecting his discomfort with being different onto others. If he doesn't accept himself for who he is, how is he to expect others to accept him. If this is true, the skip will be likely to help DS accept himself 'differences and all.'

Not to mention that DS might be very panicy about the idea of actually having to 'work' in order to 'feel smart' in school. If this is running then you have all the more reason to skip him.

In the end, I think you can get a lot of milage out of telling DS, 'this is where the Principle believes you need to be. It might mean that you need to grow in ways that you don't believe you can grow right now, but I believe that you can grow in those ways, and I have faith that you will.'

Because:

Yup - that's the point of a Motto - it gets repeated over and over and becomes the punchline of every story!

An alternative path is to review the Motto, and then review the facts '4th grade doesn't provide a challenging situation for you' and ask DS to come up with some brainstorms for alternatives. At our house this sometimes means that I am impressed and give DS a few months to try, or that DS realizes that his ideas are a lot more work than he wants to do.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

That's a tough decision. Good luck!

My DD is against the idea of a full skip mainly because of her size (she's already frustrated with being the smallest kid in her class) and because she doesn't want to be at a different school than her best friend, who is close enough to her LOG to "get" her. So, we're continuing to pursue subject acceleration, even if much of it ends up taking place at home.

Love it! I may be taping that to the inside of my younger DD's backpack.

Grinity I LOVE that motto and will steal it too if that's okay with you? Even at age 4 DS4 is anti challenges either side of his comfort zone. drives me nuts as I try and encourage him to try new things without watching from the sidelines first and practicing in secret / in his head.