I'm going to guess that you don't have a gifted program, or else the gifted coordinator would be at the meeting. If you do, goal one is to learn what they offer.
First meeting is to explain what the problem is. Explain your idea of 'readiness level' (material that is challenging enough, but not overly challenging) explain that the psychologist found behavior X, and Y and feels that to correct this problem your son needs exposure to learning that is inside his readiness level.
Ask the school how they would determine what your child's readiness level is. (In Parallel, do a bit of afterschooling, Aleks.com, reading books and talking about them, google books he likes to read and the word 'lexile' to track his reading level, read 6+1 writing traits to see where he is with writing, to get your own idea of what your son is like as a learner. So you know what to believe)
The oldest miscommunication is that when they achievement test him they stop a grade level or two above the current grade level, thinking, "why bother, we aren't going to provide services at this level so we won't need to test." If possible discuss this in advance that you want them to test all the way up to where the work requires effort and consentration - you want him to learn good work ethic,and get used to a bit of mild struggle like any other child, and that takes daily practice.
So first you identify the problem,(bordome, not used to consentrating, you can even try saying that you are afraid that never learning to settle down and work at school might cause him to become ADHD-like, if that's true) then you investigate the nature and dimensions of the problem. Once his readiness level is discovered in great detail, then (at a future meeting) you can come up with a range of ideas to try to correct the problem. Then you try the most likely to help ideas one by one until you see that your son puts a small but constant effort into learning, just like the other kids do.
I would say that it's possible that the psychologist is 100% correct, but until you get your son into that 'readiness level' environment, how will you really know if ADHD is a problem or not? This is the route we went. First fix the environment, then take another look at the kid.
BTW, if you can get the psychologist to attend the meeting and make your case for you, even by phone, you are likely to get better cooperation. They are - afterall - the expert.
It is ok to ask the school psychologist pointed questions:
What percent of kids in this school have GAI 150 or higher, like my son?
What percentage of kids in this school have a spread between GAI and processing speed of 70 points or more like my son?
Who does the school go to for help and experince with situations that are unsual?
If the school tries to tell you that they can't tell you an exact number of kids with GAI like your kid because they don't want to reveal anyone else's scores, assure them you don't want names or exact numbers, just a ballpark. Say that you would expect they only see GAI like that about once every 3 years, is that correct?
Schools usually don't have much of an idea of what is 'similar' when it comes to IQ test scores. Is GAI 150 'closes enough' to 140? 130? 120? We were told that in the middle school there would be 'handfulls' of kids like my kid. Similar is a relative term. If you can get the school on board with 'this situation is different, we have to learn more, observe closely, try new things' then you are one your way.
Remember that this is the first step on a long journey.
Smiles,
Grinity
