Hi, I would love to get some advice on dealing with my son's new teachers. I am terrible at this, and have had little success in the past (with any of my 3 kids), and I would like to maximize the chances of ds9 having a decent school experience this year (if that is possible). The stakes for ds9 are quite high this year. Sorry this post is so long, please skip it now if that bothers you!
I have to fill out a form for the new (4th grade) teachers about my child's strengths and weaknesses, and also tell them what went well and what did not go well last year. Hmmm - last year, ds was new there and entering 3rd grade. He got put into the special ed inclusion class (I think they do that deliberately with all the new kids, until they know more about the new student). Where we live the "CTT class" as it is called has something like 40 percent special needs students (kids with IEPS), but most of these kids look fairly typical (one cannot immediately tell which kids have IEPS).
At the beginning of the year the teachers put tubs of books on each table (kids were seated in groups) and on my dc's table there were only picture books, and evidently dc was too shy to get up and find something more appropriate (or maybe he just wanted to look at the picture books, who really knows). Long story short, the teachers decided he was a below grade level reader. They also thought he might have special needs (maybe ADHD, they did not say) and wanted him to get evaluated (we were told in November). They never really said what the problem was other than that they though he "needed" the lower student to teacher ratio provided in the CTT (inclusion) class which has 2 teachers instead of 1. Ultimately my son's reading was tested (end of year standardized tests) and he got the highest possible score on the ELA but the score was not reported until after the school year ended. We were not told until the last parent teacher conference that they had actually retained him in a below grade level reading group ALL YEAR, even though we told them he was a strong reader (we told them the second week of school at the first parent teacher conference, when they actually asked us "can he read?" and told us he had been looking at picture books in school -- dc explained to us later those were the books they had put on his table, and since they said "read anything you want" he took them up on it!) We did not see the high ELA score until August, obviously too late for last year, but at least we can draw their attention to it for the coming year.
In the spring of 3rd grade ds also completed EPGY math (grade levels 3 and 4) in about 8 weeks (easily, scoring in the high 90s on all of it), so he is now (after the summer break) doing grade level 5 math at home, which is easy for him still. However he is back in CTT again this year for 4th grade (without any formal eval placing him there -- they really do think he "belongs" there).
I should mention we spent the summer in LA where ds did the JHU CTY summer program and he really blossomed there, especially socially (he also did well with 3 weeks of sleepaway camp).
Ds9 is no genius but his WISC 4 GAI is 99th percentile (FSIQ put him at 97th percentile so processing speed was not too bad either). Ds is certainly a late bloomer (his language skills were at first slightly delayed, below 5th percentile when he was 3, then 80th percentile when he was 4, and now 99th percentile at 9). His motor skills are not the best (messy handwriting and some number reversals as late as 3rd grade). But he is a great reader and terrific at math, and I wonder if there is some tactful way to indicate that he was improperly placed academically last year (in low spelling and reading groups), and that he might do better socially AND academically if he is allowed to have some greater academic challenges at school. This school is really into sensory this and that, "fidgets" (squeezable objects given to the kids to play with during group discussion), bouncy seats, you name it, and I think dc's motor skill weaknesses peg him as "special needs" and the teachers might have trouble seeing beyond that. I think part of the theory is these kinds of motor weaknesses are supposed to indicate possible LDs (but one would think once the child shows he is a great reader and great at math too, they would give it a break!) The problem with him being identified as needing "fidgets" is this seems to keep him out of higher achieving classes (ds has been instructed to decline any "fidgets" or any other "sensory supports" he might be offered in school, and he finally "gets" that these things carry a big stigma in his school even though the adults won't admit it).
Last year's teachers did not see dc's IQ test results until February (we declined to have him evaluated by them but the IQ test was done by us in the context of possible future applications to private school here). The teachers advanced him in math upon seeing the high IQ score, but (we found out later) declined to advance him in reading. Thank goodness for standardized tests. When your kid gets a 4 in a subject the teachers can't deny he did well (a 4 is passing "with distinction"). We are working on getting dc into a suitable private school for 5th grade (we hope!), but we need good recommendations from dc's teachers to make it happen. His test scores are certainly high enough. How do we tactfully encourage them to allow him a more challenges in school? The kids identified as having "sensory" problems or ADHD are usually not admitted to the better (more academic) private schools here, so we need to resist having the teachers think he has any of those issues (which will already be difficult given the 3rd grade teachers thought he did have those problems). Ds is rarely a behavior problem in class, but sometimes he is off task (usually quietly). I think part of it is the inappropriateness of some of the material (for him). Maybe he is not mature enough to handle the boredom well (older dcs handled that better).
It is too late to get him out of the CTT class, and in truth it is not a good placement for him, even if the school obviously thinks it is. In CTY science (over the summer) ds really hit it off with his teacher, who made it clear at the start of the program that he did not care about neatness or handwriting skill in general. This teacher even commented that when he was in school, sometimes his work "had to be held up to a mirror!" to be read, and when he said that dc really beamed.
Sorry for this long and rambling post. Any advice would be much appreciated. Middle dc (age 15) has higher test scores (both IQ and achievement, he is a member of SET, just completed UCLA courses this summer with 4.0 avg in his college work,...) and this older dc seemed better able to handle the "challenge" of boredom in school (when he was younger, in elementary school for instance). Oldest dc has autism but we are discovering how bright he is too.
I am awful at getting appropriate work for my kids in general, but youngest ds seems to be suffering the most. We need to find a way to make this work, at least well enough that we can get good letters from these teachers for the applications to private school. Back to my original question: when they ask on their intro forms, "what went well" last year, etc., how should I approach responding to such questions? Is it too rude to point out the 4 on the ELA and the fact he spent the year in a low level reading group? I think that is rude, but in terms of what went badly, that pretty much sums it up.
Any advice is much appreciated, and thank you so much for reading this long post.
