Good parenting--paying attention to your kids and playing with them--is not hothousing. Just because some people ignore and maybe even neglect their kids doesn't mean that being kind to one's kids is hothousing.
Hothousing is about the parent, not the child. It's about prestige or not wanting to be embarrassed because the child isn't "good enough" or prioritizing the parent's goals over the child's healthy development and happiness. It borders on abusive. Possibly something is withheld if the child doesn't comply, most commonly affection, but potentially even food. If the kid is having fun, it isn't hothousing.
Singing the alphabet song or playing a game doesn't qualify on any of these counts.
