Would you try to discuss this with the child? How would you go about it? My son does not seem nearly as savvy as many of yours with matters of emotions or things "going wrong" at school, and he is hesitant to say anything negative (my fault for trying to teach him to look at the bright side, stop complaining about silly stuff, etc.). Should I talk to the teachers first? We have a parent-teacher conference on Monday, but it's the standard one for all students, so we won't get much time. I'm hoping to use that time to schedule a more substantive meeting with both teachers next month.
Or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree altogether by trying to connect unrelated things?
This is exactly how my son acted when I first started trying to 'reverse' his underachievemnt, at around age 10. It isn't pretty. The only way I did it was to repeat to myself: 'Better Now than while he is away at College!'
But it is a slow painful process. It's sounds to me like you are one the right track with the Origami, and working through the quiz question. And you are starting younger, so more years for him to get that good work ethic! Go You!
I think that your ideas are quite reasonable, and as good a theory to work off of for now as any. I wouldn't say much to DS, except to tell the story of the Bamboo Tree, as in this blog:
http://www.ploomy.com/2008/09/16/wh...-bamboo-trees-can-teach-us-about-growth/ A little while back, a friend of mine told me this story about how Chinese Bamboo Trees grow. I thought it was very insightful and really helped me to think about the idea of growth in a different way.
Now, I should note that there are over 1500+ types of bamboo trees. Just remember, these probably aren�t those little office plants you�re used to seeing. You�ll see what I am talking about in a moment.
�Energy and persistence alter all things.� � Benjamin Franklin
1st Year � You plant a bamboo seedling and give it proper sunlight, water, nourishment and in the first year except for a tiny sprout, there is no growth.
2nd Year � During the second year you care for the bamboo in the same way. You give it constant attention, watering, sunlight and maybe you even throw in some praying, but still the bamboo does not grow. You were told it might take a while to grow, so you keep soldiering on.
3rd year � Another year goes by. You give the bamboo the same love and care. You keep giving it the best fertilizer, sunlight, water, but again much to your amazement, nothing happens. You start asking yourself, why isn�t this thing growing? It�s at this time many people just throw their hands up and give up, but no that�s not you. But how discouraging is it that you�ve waited patiently and cared for this bamboo only to have nothing happen?
4th Year � During the 4th year, you care for it, fertilize it, and give it proper sunlight. You take a look around the garden and realize that all the other plants are blooming and teeming with life and vibrancy. But your poor bamboo seed has nothing to show for. For four whole years, you�ve been patient and truly tried to help this seed grow. Except for a tiny sprout, your bamboo is no bigger than it was during the first year.
5th Year � It is not till sometime in the fifth year the bamboo tree will start to grow. And when it decides to grow, what happens in the next 4-6 weeks will astonish you. The tiny bamboo sprout you cared for will grow as much as 3 feet in a single day till it reaches as high as 90 feet. How can this be? While in the first through fourth years, the plant was not growing above ground, it was actually growing below ground. It was developing miles of its intricate root system which would eventually help propel its massive upward growth in year five. The bamboos� intricate root structure takes four years to prepare itself for the growth it will experience in its 5th year.
We talked about this over and over and over. I provided a few 'oragami type' activities where his mistakes or gaps in knowledge would catch up with him,
www.aleks.com, to be exact, and I got him into a classroom environment where he had to work to do keep up.
And I did have to tell myself the Bamboo Story over and over and over. He isn't the only one in our house who
is was 'addicted' to quick results and easy A's.
Now he's 13. He still doesn't work as hard as DH and I think he 'should.' (We have very selective memory about how consistiently good we were as students - and never as challenging academics as he does, but it's easy for us to be picky.I was hung out to dry when I got to college!) But if the school provides him with enough work to feel the heat, he can easily sit down and do his 2 to 3 hours. He says that he is working well through his daily study halls, and I believe him, because he almost never is late with getting his homework in. He has made so much progress - at age 9 he was crying because the teacher gave 2 45 second worksheets for homework instead of her usual one 45 second worksheet - WOW!
So - hang in - there is hope. And a meeting with the teachers to listen and get more info about school seems like a good idea. If you don't have a communication device with the school, try to get one in place that has a continumn of good behavior, so that even if he is terrible for 10 minutes, you can still praise his efforts during the rest of the day!
Smiles,
Grinity
