The title to my post by no means sums up my questions and concerns. So bare with me.
DS is 5.75 years and in K. A little background: he said his first word at 6 months, was speaking in full sentences by 12 months. Was a fairly late walker at 18 months, and his gross motor skills have always been on the far end of "normal". He was able to do 24 piece jigsaw puzzles within minutes by the time he was 24 months. He was drawing people by 30 months and started working on basic math concepts by the time he was 36 months. Before he was 5 he had completed 1st grade math. He self taught how to read over the summer and is still in the early stages of reading, but he has always preferred numbers, art and building over letters. He is currently working on 2nd grade math at home. We do not home school (I work FT and I am the breadwinner), but he loves work books (like some kids love coloring books). Because he was having behavioral issues in pre-K (went from being Mr. Happy to Mr. Loud and Disruptive) he started seeing a child psychologist in the spring. After a few meetings she told us she felt he was gifted (which we had suspected all along), but she wanted to hold off on testing until he was older. Summer came, his behavior issues dissapeared, we moved and he entered K in the fall.
At first he loved K, because as he put it "I already know everything they are teaching me."
Within a month he had a massive melt down, his anxiety problems kicked into overdrive and he stopped being able to sleep well. He told us he hated school and begged not to go back. We called the school; he wasn't having any issues there. I had him meet w/ his psychologist again, and she felt he was truly miserable at school. She suggested we have him tested so that his school could better work with him. My insurance denied the testing.
So we met w/ the school guidance consoler again. * Here is where my problems with the school start.* She told us we could develop an education plan for him without the testing. I was thrilled. And she didn't take any notes in our meeting. DS's psychologist has sent her some of his papers (I signed a release form) and she didn't seem to care.
So we set up a meeting w/ the guidance consoler, the assistant principal and his teacher to talk about an education plan. And the school comes into this meeting with a whole different agenda. The AP tried to tell me DS wasn't gifted because he wasn't advanced in all subject areas. I told her I wasn't saying my kid was some "super genius", and she tried to tell me facts about GC that I know are wrong. She seemed less than versed on the subject and wanted to dismiss us because she gets a lot of parents coming in telling her how talented their kids are. OK, I get that - but don't judge and assume you know the facts when you don't.
So I asked about the education plan, they told me he couldn't have one without testing. And I said Mrs. So-So (the guidance consoler) said we didn't need testing. The AP just said, that's incorrect and the guidance consoler just keep sitting there, staring at her lap. Then she tells me all I have to do is go to the board of special ed and request the test and they can do it for free. Where was this info 2 weeks ago?
They acted like we went there to attack them and their school. Which we did not. We went there to discuss an education plan.
So then DS's teacher starts with how she doesn't think he's that advanced in reading, when I tell her math is where he really excels and is working on grade 2 math at home... she tells me he can bring in his math book to work on in school. DS will love this... he's been asking to bring it in.
I just don't get it. There is such a lack of communication in the school it is appalling. DS's psychologist even noticed it when she called the guidance consoler. And I truly don't think they know the difference between being smart or bright and being gifted.
And what puzzles me even more is DS is totally different at school than he is at home. He is not telling them the things he is telling us, his uncle... he is just going with the flow. It does seem like his competitive and perfectionist side play a roll in that at school as he will not engage in any activity that he does not think he is the "best at". He would rather tell the school he doesn't know than take a chance of being wrong. His teacher brought to us a whole list of words DS's doesn't know (talk about being negative), but these are all words he can read and does read at home nightly. I don't know if they don't recognize what is going on or what. I do know they are trying different things (switching his groups around etc), but his teacher doesn't want him to get anxious, so she lets him continue to underachieve. Yes, she said she doesn't want him getting anxious. But isn't that enabling him? They kept telling us what a model student he was, so well behaved, etc. That was nice to hear... but that is also how last year started and by Feb. the wheels just fell off, per say.
We got the paperwork for the town to do the testing. And DS's psychologist is writing to my insurance to appeal their denial of testing. But from that I am not sure where to go. We don't live in a gifted friendly state and our town school don't offer a "gifted program", which I have heard can be good and bad. And the school it's self has me worried, they are coming off as very incompetent and defensive.
