In times of "high stress", DS has almost no control over his emotions if he's tired or hungry. For example, we don't allow DS to play chess before breakfast or dinner, because he can't see it as a game when he's hungry. So, if his little brother (DS5) makes an illegal move or loses interest, DS7 goes completely bonkers. Our present approach is to continue to enforce our rules regardless of DS's level of anxiety, and to try not to let our frustration/anger show as we enforce them. During his anxious times, we also try to limit other triggers, but life can easily get in the way of that.
My head hurts from shaking it so much (in agreement) after reading this... DS5.5 has this same issue. If he's hungry or tired, he goes crazy if one of us messes up his "flow", as we like to call it.
DS has never been at the level of being fearful of going outside due to him thinking an animal would bite him, but his anxiety over his already formed fear of failing or not being good enough goes over the top (my perfectionist) has always had me on alert.
It took me a long time not to react as "that's just silly", and really sit with him and talk about it.
