The psychologist really irked me afterwards when he told me (right in front of my son, no less!) that he thought my son had strong "passive aggressive" tendancies because of that. Especially, when, in my opinion ds wasn't deliberately trying to be stubborn.
Hi DianerLu!
Welcome. First, I wanted to express my sympathy for whatever family reasons are making you consider putting him in public school. Sometimes things are just beyond our control, and it is essential to do what is best for the whole family, even while trying to minimize the cost to any one member.
(If on the other hand your family reasons are flack you are getting from family members over homeschooling, post here, we've BTDT on differing perspectives within families. I love your post's length, BTW!)
If Dottie says that there is potential 2E stuff going on, then I agree that it's time to call in one of the 'top 7' professional testers. If you send me a private message with the parts of the country that you live in or regularly travel to, I'll reccomend a tester who can look at the scores you do have and give professional advice about 2E. 2E is brand new, and plenty of local professionals not only don't get it, but feel free to make obnoxious character-based comments. These kind of comments 'in and of themselves' raise the probability of 2E in my mind - what, afterall is a learning disability, except a mind that works in ways that people typically mis-interpret?
The comment about the 'strong passive agressive blah blah' makes my blood boil. I wish I could reccomend that you sue that psychologist for 'total lack of professionalism' but I know that that would be a waste of your time and energies. I would however suggest that you report him to what ever statewide agency oversees psychologists in your area.
You aren't alone in getting this kind of reaction from 'local guys' - and I know that I've never completely recovered my confidence after a comment from one of our local psychologist. I've also never completely recoverd my trust in a profession that I might need!
Insults that are burned in my memory aside, I think the main question that you have is: Can my child recieve a good education in our local public school? Does he need special accomidation such as a gifted program to do so.
I would point out that the gifted program isn't the only way to met a child's special educational needs. If your school's gifted program is heavily writing based, then it would be a terrible fit! If the gifted program is all about 'letting bright kids be 'themselves' together while they solve sudoku puzzles' it may also not be worth your energy to pursue.
If the program is about teaching your child at his readiness level (advanced enough that he is learning new stuff, and fast enough that he isn't pulling out his hair waiting for everyone else) and he clearly can do the work, then it is worth fighting for, and my guess is that once they see what he can do that they would be willing to try a transitional placement.
Which brings up the achievement scores - Dottie please help me, but aren't they really low for a kid with his Verbal IQ? The real question in my mind for your situation is - what grade should your son re-enter the public school as? Should be placed by age? Pushed ahead a bit overall or in a few areas? Treated as if he had a summer birthday and placed in a lower grade?
I would hope that achievement test scores would give some guidance for this. Watching him interact with peers socially might also. Spelling I would leave out of the equation.
Side topic: LOL - I'm assuming that I've made a bouquet of spelling errors in this post, and they aren't typos, dear! I honestly can't look at a word and 'see' that it looks wrong, or hold the correct spelling in my mind. I try to be a living example of the idea that spelling is a 'seperate skill' that isn't related to intelligence in the least. ((But it's still a bit embarrassing!)) Anyway, with spelling check, there are only a few places left where 'spelling counts.' ((Yes, I do frequently mispell things so badly that spell checker is baffled - but that's what friends are for!))Anyway - the questions in my mind are - how can you wiggle the school to set things up so that he has a chance of getting his educational needs met?
AND
Now that I have these weird scores, which match what I see in real life, - Do I need to persue a possible 2E diagnosis? I would love to see your son get a full workup, particularly if you live near a famous university with a top-notch department
There was a
wonderful thread here on Asperger's recently. Can anyone help me find the link?
As far as books - Uniquely Gifted comes to mind as the gold standard on 'living with 2E kids' and 'Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis' is the manual of sorts.
We also have lots of threads on reluctant writers, as this is a fairly typical area that stands out for elementary aged gifties - particularly boys. In particular, I'm wondering how your son's 'non-fiction' writing is - some people have a highly imaginative approach to writing about non-fiction topics. Do you see any sparks there? Or is the whole organizational thing 'too much.' Look up 'Asynchronous Development' for more on this train of thought. Here's one:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Cronin_AsychnronousDevelopmentandSIIntervention.shtmlAnyway - I'd love to hear more about his life and his strengths. I'm sure that he is a delightful person, and that you are a caring parent.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
