GT kids who seem anxious and ill-at-ease with agemates often do better emotionally with older kids. Have you seen him at play with kids older than he is? How does he fare? Does he seem more at home?
I'm not pushing a grade skip. We chose to homeschool instead of skipping, so I definitely don't think that every HG+ child needs a skip. There are other ways to deal. But it might well be that a skip would solve many of the problems you're seeing. You might also consider subject acceleration as another possibility.
In our case, after the school IDd DS7 as GT in K (with a great teacher!), he began to have anger and behavioral issues in a lousy 1st grade placement with no challenge. That's when we had him privately tested, found that he was HG+, and realized that we needed to radically rethink our approach to his education. Our "one size fits all" public school simply wasn't going to work. To answer your original question, yes, testing was a big help to us there, and homeschooling has really fixed DS7's problems with challenge and attitude. (Not that I think everyone should homeschool either! But it worked for us.) He is happy and excited about learning again. He has more friends. He is back to his pleasant self!
You know, I think that any psychologist who dismisses GTness as an issue so cavalierly as you describe is one I would be VERY skeptical of! I doubt he's got a very full understanding of your child. GT kids are often more anxious than ND kids. And an HG+ child who is ill-placed is very nearly guaranteed (though not quite!) to have some sort of emotional or adjustment issues to sort through, though some will be minor instead of major. If your DS is the anxious type anyway, the bad school placement is just going to make things worse.
Yes, teaching your child division at home will not do anything to help his boredom at school. That's true. But two things I think pretty much all of us here agree on are that *some* challenge is better than no challenge, and that trying to slow an HG+ child down to minimize boredom at school just flat does not work. Not at all! He WILL be bored if nothing is done at school to meet his special needs. He just will. Better to be challenged during some of his day than to be never challenged. These kids need to learn how to learn, just as anyone else must.
I feel for you, because I have been where you are! Our problem was anger instead of anxiety, but it amounts to the same thing: an unhappy child whose needs are not being met. It's a hard, painful place you're in.
On the bright side, it does get better if you make changes. Our family is living proof!
Hang in there!
