Here's a link
http://www.giftedonlineconferences.com/Tom_greenspon9_07.htmlto a free online gifted conference featuring Tom Greenspan who talks about Perfectionism. It's a very interesting way to interact with the Gifted community. I'll try to post early about "Dissonance" my idea that there is a cousin to Perfectionism that Gifted folks are vulnerable to.
Dissonance, as I use it, refers to an early and persistant awareness of what "could be" in such a way that makes "what is" and "what we can do" look bad by comparison. This is different from Perfectionism,
Perfectionism is not about doing one's best, or about pursuing excellence; it's about the emotional conviction that perfection is the only route to personal acceptance.
It is the emotional conviction that by being perfect, one can finally be
acceptable as a person. - Dr. Tom Greenspon
Is that one can learn to live with Dissonance, and find oneself fairly acceptable, although perhaps it interferes with some of the Satisfaction that one might otherwise find in life. Sort of "Perfectionism Lite." I have heard that with Perfectionism, one is never pleased with one's outcomes. With Dissonance, one can be at least partly pleased and often even mostly pleased, with allowances made for the inner critic who is perhaps never going to stop making inappropriate comparisons.
Now that I have this idea of Dissonance, I can laugh when I hear that inner critic trying to get me upset by comparing my behavior to a fictional character's behavior. I like that I keep trying, but I don't think I'm ever going to live up to the standards of fictional people. I'm alive!
Smiles,
Trinity
