Thank you McKinley! You've provided us with so many great and practical options that we've never thought of before. We've always been struggling with finding ways to help him but never had any good inputs. I very much appreciate your information. It is so enlightening and I feel I already see hope ahead of him.
Currently we don't have any system in place except for what's been on the IEP. During last meeting, I've requested subject teacher to send us separate email regarding big deadlines but we were told to check ourselves on blackboard, where kids got assignment from. We are working parents and getting to blackboard everyday is like putting us back to Middle School again. I guess we as parents haven't work diligently enough to foster a good habit of him. Raising a kid with ADHD and some other symptoms is not easy, we have to constantly adjust our expectations and refine the way we do things. Sometimes he's doing fine and we almost forgot that he has special needs. Raising a kid with ADHD is also an Adult's journey of patience, in that sense, we need to be trained to be more patient with our kids.
Our DS13 doesn't like to use electronics, mostly cellphone. He uses computer for homework, etc. During the weekend, I bought him a wall calendar behind his desk. We will start training him to put on deadline on the calendar based on the assignment from Blackboard. We will also teach him to use Google Calendar to incorporate anything important to it. I know it will take long time until it gets in his brain, but I'm hoping he will get there eventually.
Once again, thank you McKinley for your insight. I'm very happy that I can find something really useful on this forum.
What sort of system is he currently using for deadlines/organization?
There are two main types of tool - analog (i.e. paper) organizers and digital tools. I'd probably go straight to digital for a few reasons. Because the digital tools are web-based, you can't leave them behind, misplace them, or forget them. A lot of the tools also allow for multiple users which will help with someone just learning how to keep tasks organized. These are skills that lots of adults struggle with, ponder, and build entire enterprises around.
First you will want to try out a few tools and see which one you like the best. You will probably want something that makes it easy to add tasks, set deadlines, get reminders, take some notes. I use Asana for personal tasks. It doesn't suit everyone.
Next you want him to build the habit of adding a task/deadline to the planner as soon as it is assigned. Any thought or instruction of you need to do X (by Y) should go into the system. The idea is to essentially offload that information out of the brain and into the planner. When he needs to know what he should be doing, consult the planner.
After everything is in the planner and it is doing the work of keeping the tasks and dates organized, then he can start building up the skill of allowing enough time to finish everything on time. This is just counting backwards. If I have a 10 page paper due in five days and I can write 2 pages a day, I need to start today. So you take the big deadline and you break it into subtasks of write 2 pages and give them their own deadlines.
Once you've set up your system I would take it to the teachers and see how willing they are to help with accountability in the system. Are there any willing to add tasks themselves? If they don't agree to that, would they be willing to check in on the task list once a day or once a week to make sure nothing is missing? Would they be willing to offer feedback on tasks in the system?
You can even present this as not just an accommodation for you son, but something that could benefit lots of students and prepares them to be better students in college, and members of a modern workforce.
