Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Would you push for child's friend's grade skip?

It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise!

DD6, young for grade, is currently a first grader in a split 1/2 classroom that was configured due to a teacher shortage, so 5 1st graders (3 of whom are red shirted girls) in a classroom with 24 second graders.

The teacher has wanted to put DD6 with the second graders since about Christmas. I refused at the time, since DD was just about finding her feet among the cozy little group of 4 first grade girls. However, I told her to give DD second grade work as she saw fit, and suggested that she might advance to third grade the following year, mentioning she might form a little group with one of the red shirted girls who I knew was doing very well, too. The teacher agreed that there might be another candidate for acceleration but the one she was very sure about already being a right fit was DD.

A few weeks ago, both DD6 and Friend7 were given a cursive and a multiplication workbook to complete till summer in view of possible acceleration into third. Around that time, there was a parent teacher evening my husband went to, at which the school explained that they were not planning to continue split grade classrooms but form regular 2nd and third grade classrooms depending on teacher availability. DH says, that at the end of this meeting, Friend7's mom discussed Friend7's and DDs possible acceleration in full earshot of other parents, insisting that she'd consent to the acceleration only on the condition that the teacher (who everyone is very happy with with the exception of the new principal) was looped for third grade as well (which, again, every body would be very happy with except for the new principal, so this has not been confirmed).

Now of course, the gossip mill is churning, and I have had to tell DD6 about what's been suggested. DD6 says that, while she'd be sad to leave her other first grade friends, she wants to go - on the condition that Friend7 goes, too! (I did tell her that of course it was not our call).

Friend7, while of course academically suitably advanced, is also redshirted and already plays mostly with the second graders, DD6 being on of the exceptions. A no brainer IMO, but Friend7's mom, who I like a lot, really wants her kids old for grade (not so much for academic reasons but because they are sensitive and anxious).

We have already been given the application form for the grade skip. I whatsapped friends7's mom and she says they haven't yet, but have a meeting today. I'll happen to see her this afternoon....

I know I know I know it's not my business, and my head says keep yr mouth shut and leave well alone, and of course I'd never do any *pushing*. But can you think of any nudging I might do in case she is still undecided this afternoon?