My DS5yrs is having a rough time in school. He's in a better school now, but we want to prevent a repeat of last year, when the school literally asked us to doctor-shop to get a behavioral diagnosis for him. (everyone else agrees he's sweet as honey, desperately social, and runs mostly on hugs -- but no-one would ever argue he's not strong-willed.)
Our feeling is that he was genuinely uncomfortable in school and was acting out in a 4 yr old version of social activism. He was very *effective* in his protests, not only in producing situations the school had to respond to at significant cost (the principle of a 1000+ student school was regularly sitting with him for extended periods of time in whatever location he refused to leave), but also in obtaining the solidarity of the other Kindergartners. It says so on his report card. [giggle]
OK, that's the background. On to the foreground.
There was a bit of a thing about water. DS felt *morally* wronged when he was asked to sit down and wait till after circle time to get a drink of water. He knew he was supposed to listen, so he engaged in passive resistance (he does this)... he stood in circle time. Later in the day, he was asked to approach the teacher to discuss the event. He refused to discuss it. As he tells it, he was ashamed of this behavior, but felt stuck because he did not intend to back down from his previous stance that he should have been able to get water when he was thirsty. In any case, because he wasn't willing to address the issue later, we got a note home telling us what happened, and asking for advice.
The teachers' version and his are identical. For a five year old, I'm impressed by my kid's reporting skills. After the last school, I'm impressed by the teachers' honesty. All this good reporting gives us a much better sense of what's really going on.
I already wrote the teachers back, but I figured people on here would have more than a few anecdotes and experiences to share & I'd love to hear everyone's opinions and ideas, because I really *like* that he has such a strong sense of morality, but sometimes you gotta wait, dude... and I really want to
a) support the school in teaching him how to be part of a group
b) support his right to define his own morals
c) help him develop his morals and manage his strong feelings about moral issues (I think passive resistance is pretty good, really, but... maybe ratchet up the bar for full-on protest a lil, kid!)
Last edited by Michaela; 10/04/16 08:18 AM.
