I had some push-back, too, with our dysgraphic-ky child, (who is also the passionate, hypersensitive one) in the early years. In our case, I think it was a combination of 2e, temperament, and my learning process as a homeschooling parent. We are a few more years into it now, and the whiny grump fest does still emerge, on occasion, usually when adults haven't been disciplined enough about basic needs (too many late nights is often the culprit), but it's reduced considerably.
A few strategies that helped:
1. Don't plan too far in advance. A week is more than enough. Parental frustration at not "accomplishing" something is more or less inevitable, if we set ourselves up with overly-ambitious plans.
2. Accommodate weaknesses, and challenge strengths. For example, math is a strength for us, but writing is a weakness. For many years, I scribed any math work that needed to be done on paper (such as multi-step problems or diagrams), or had DC complete it orally. Rarely, I still do, mainly to get through tough days.
3. Corollary to #2: de-couple skills, reasoning, and content. DC's math and science work is completed and assessed based purely on content-specific criteria. Written math is a bit easier these days, but scientific explanations still include a little more writing than comes fluently. So work products for science can be generated orally, using speech-to-text, by typed response, with a diagram, etc., and are never graded based on spelling, as long as they are intelligible. (E.g., "nucleose" gets credit as the "organial" where DNA is located.) Simultaneously, spelling might be at fourth grade, written expression/composition at fifth grade, literature at sixth grade, and social studies at seventh grade.
4. Prioritize developing a love of learning, and a collaborative relationship between parent and child, ahead of completing formal curriculum. Sporadically, I have to remind myself that nurturing a whole human being with healthy relationships is our overarching purpose in home schooling (or any other form of parenting!). If we are partners in curiosity, growing together in all dimensions of the human experience, then academics will come on their own.
5. Corollary to #4: model various forms and aspects of learning. Be a novice at something. Make mistakes. Put effort into a skill, and show progress. Openly narrate the questions, challenges, setbacks, determination, perseverance, and payoffs of grappling with a new skill, concept, body of knowledge, or area of character growth.
