I really appreciate all the advice and suggestions. At this point, DS has one grade in jeopardy and missing school completely messes him up--so he can't even afford to *do* these shadow days. I can't figure out what to do about him." He is teetering on the oppositional brink...I think it's a mood issue but the why of it doesn't seem to matter much at this point.
Current plan is to hope he makes it through the rest of the school year okay, and then regroup. We could still apply to the private school if he doesn't make his grades. He could go to his assigned public school, but that would be a mess because he's already in high school classes. We could "homeschool" 8th grade, but I am pretty sure he thinks that means he could stay in his room all day and do whatever he wants (which would suit him fine).
Plan is also to remind myself (frequently) that 13 is not generally a really fun age. I have a feeling it is extra fun with gifted AS kid.
I am trying to focus on the gains he's made this year--so much better than last, so far to go.
