I empathize. BTDT. You are not alone. Unfortunately this is a common experience and has been called "matching a child to the program" rather than "matching a program to the child."
Another forum member has recently posted some research which appears to indicate that those who benefit most from the gifted programs which were the subject of study were non-gifted but high-achieving students with IQ just below the 116 threshold.
Learning that a school does not care about an individual child per se can be difficult. However sometimes finding what the school does care about may help you negotiate with them in a way that is motivating for them.
In general, at this point in time, public schools tend to care about
closing gaps. As this child is female, they may care about helping close any stereotypical gender gaps. For example, math. They may be willing to assist your child in
working beyond their usual prescribed gifted math program (which is often 1 or 2 years ahead of the regular curriculum) if this helps close their overall math performance gap for girls.
Wishing you all the best in advocating and/or finding a learning environment more conducive to helping your DD reach her full potential.
