Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional ASD/Anxiety/Depression/School refusal

Hi all, am wondering if what my DS11 is going through rings a bell with anyone. I'm so lost.

For the first 11 years of his life he was certainly quirky and stubborn, but also happy, sparky, enthusiastic, confident and self-directed. He was the child I thought would do brilliantly in any situation. Things started to go downhill about Easter last year in terms of general mood, and then spiraled rapidly into severe anxiety, school refusal, aggression and misery. He ended up missing all but two weeks of the third school term (Australia) and spend three weeks in hospital. They said ASD and anxiety, and put him on Fluvox, which helped to a degree and he went to school for most of the last term.

Starting high school last week was always going to be iffy, but it feels like we're back to where we were in the middle of last year - he's home again today. He won't speak about it, and screams if the subject is raised (he absolutely does look and sound like an autistic child when the anxiety is in full swing). He won't go to see the doctor or psychiatrist. He has been violent and says he wants to die.

I expect that when we see the psych again (probably without DS11) they'll push again for anti-psychotics to be given in addition to the fluvox for anxiety. So far I've resisted but I'm feeling backed into a corner.

I should say that I'm not anti-drugs per se, but my concern is that no-one has been able to explain what has happened, all we've got is categorisation of symptoms with no reason given for the relatively sudden onset. Nothing changed anywhere in his life - that has been thoroughly gone over. My lovely boy, who has always been a sweet, kind, funny, bubbly, sociable, happy-go-lucky, creative child with plenty of really nice friends, is now in a terrible place. To the extent that he has ASD, presumably he's had it his whole life but with no ill effect and to such a mild degree that no-one noticed(!), so what has gone wrong? Is throwing a mix of drugs at him really the only option we have? His solution is home schooling, but I'm a single parent so that's not possible.

I've found so little online. When DS13 finally got the ADHD diagnosis (yes, I drink wine) it was easy to get my head around the problem and the treatment. With this though... there's so little. Perhaps that's just how it is and I have to get used to not understanding.

Thanks if you've read this far, and if you have any insights they would be much appreciated. I know people with ASD kids, but no-one in our situation.