I get very specific with more or less the following formula while being ultra calm and working hard to include zero shaming in it, while being clear and direct: "I understand you were trying to explain something to
. What you said came across as rude because your tone/words made it sound like you felt superior." Early in the process, I then include something along the lines of, "Here's what you could have said," and after several iterations, I move to "Can you come up with another way to say that?"Very good, thank you. Especially appreciate the "superior" comment, because I'pretty sure that is exactly how DS comes across. This is not helped by the fact his favorite words are stupid, idiotic, and moron.
