Hi Pirion,
I'm no professional here - just another mom of a gifted kid. Our DS7 was also born just before the cutoff - 2 days, but we "red-shirted" him (icky pejorative term). His challenges are all social/emotional, and prior to this year I couldn't imagine him handling the next grade up. His executive function just wasn't up to it. He's getting there, but really not quite yet. And he gets minimal support, so he'd probably flail, whereas your son is hanging in there.
It's very common for a gifted kid not to peg the meter on achievement in school, especially in the early grades. Achievement in class is different from mastery of basic skills, and is dependent on executive function and other non-academic skills, so you need to parse it all out. The parsing will help you decide which way to go on this decision.
For example - DS is PG, has dysgraphia/stealth dyslexia, and reads and does math/science multiple grades ahead of his class. To date, he has mostly been learning nothing academically in class. But, unless a teacher was paying awfully close attention, she wouldn't have known that, because he refuses to do work sheets/assessments to show it. So he shows up as being middling to poor wrt achievement, notwithstanding his abilities.
On the other hand, he is growing by leaps and bounds with respect to EF and social/emotional stuff. And that growth will hopefully, ultimately, allow him to demonstrate what he can do, engage more fully in his classes, and gallop ahead according to his ability. For now, we're content to keep him at the grade level he's at, knowing that the achievement demands are going to ramp soon enough, and hoping that his EF/social skills will ramp before that time!
For other kids on this board - the issues are flipped. They have ability and EF and are simply stifled in their classroom and need to skip ahead.
You don't say what your child's supports are for - but if you read much on this board, you'll see that our kids struggle with a wide variety of developmental issues, many routed in the "asynchrony" of the gifted mind. That is - development doesn't follow the same pattern as neurotypical kids, so things in school often don't fit them well.
If you can give more details of what your child's strengths/challenges/supports are all about, there are some brilliant folks here who can weigh in on how to get him optimally situated in your school. But keep in mind that with a very bright kid, most classrooms (whether you go down a level, stay where you are, or accelerate) aren't going to be an ideal fit, and you'll need ongoing support and flexibility from the school. Sounds like you may be getting that in some ways already. Folks here can help you nudge the support network more in the direction that will let him develop his strengths as well as tackle his challenges.
Welcome to the board!
Sue
