My five year old son has started to give things to kids at school and I'm trying to figure out what is going on, if this is common, and if I should intervene. My son is in preschool and has some social skills issues. He started to attend a social skills class last year because he wasn't connecting with the kids in his class and has some problems initiating play with groups. He's doing much better now but he still doesn't have a best friend in his class. My son hasn't acted sad about it but he is very aware that he is different from his classmates and that nobody really gets him or is like him. He gets along with most of the boys in his class but he doesn't have a best friend. He does like two boys who are quiet, gentle and bright (he's also very gentle). Both of the boys are nice to him but have other best friends and don't really ask him for play dates or anything.
I recently learned that my son has been giving tools (his most beloved possession) to these two boys (the boys' parents emailed to make sure it was okay to keep the gifts). He has a lot of tools because he's an obsessive collector and people give them to him or he buys them with his allowance. He has mostly given away tools that he has duplicates of. I'm fine with the fact that he's giving things away but I'm a bit concerned about his motivation for doing so. Today I learned that he gave one of the boys a dollar so he could buy himself some candy. My son is always finding money on the ground and is aware of every penny in his bank so I was surprised that he would give away money after working so hard to gather/save it.
I've asked my son why he's giving things to these two boys and he said he wanted to make them happy and that it feels good to give things to people. He insists the kids didn't ask for anything but he was very happy at their excited reaction. The kids he is gifting the tools to are sweet and I really don't think they are asking him for things but I do worry that my son is trying to buy friendship. One of the boys brought some really cool magnets for my son today so he was thrilled to receive a gift in return but I've warned him that he shouldn't ask for gifts.
My son is very empathic and generous (even with his little brother) but I'm puzzled by this behavior. Is this common with kids this age? Should I worry about his motives? I'm scratching my head and hoping moms with older kids might help shed some light.
