Watching adults furtively adds a manipulative aspect to this child's behavior, making the situation more chilling: He seems to be daring anyone to mention what he is doing, thereby casting all who are present as culpable, unwitting accomplices in their silence.
Obviously, I was not there for this incident, but when I have seen this same thing with the child I know, it didn't feel quite this way. More like...that intentionally "naughty" look you get from a child who is pushing boundaries.
That said, this would concern me:
Other family members have made comments about being worried about him with animals
I am not as sure about the incident with the cousin. Without a witness, I would not want to indict. I have heard all kinds of tales about who did what to whom when no adult was in the room in my experiences with children.
I would add one thing. I could be wrong, but I have the idea that mild cruelty to living things (we are not talking about stabbing or killing the cat here) used to be more common and tolerated, especially among boys. Think of pulling the wings off flies, incinerating ants with a magnifying glass (I think my DH did this), etc. To me this suggests a mild tendency to do this among some children. I am not saying it is okay, and I am aware that it is a sign of possible problems. Still. I would probably have a different perspective on this if it weren't for the other child in my life, whom I know quite well and who again, does not make me think "future sociopath" as much as "not the most compassionate child I know, but not in need of treatment."
