We are both working parents so our children have been in daycares. DS misses the cutoff by 1-2 days and DD's birthday is only one day earlier than DS. When DS was younger, we figured he could just enjoy being in daycare and not worry about the fact that he would be basically 6 when he starts kindergarden - or even look for private school to start him when he turns 5 and do the route of private school for a few years and then figure out whether to continue with private school or move to public once we are past that whole restrictive age cutoff (we are also in a state that is very rigid about the cutoff). So... we did not start to worry - until 3.5 when he started to show signs that he was getting too frustrated and out of sync with his class.
Even though they did a lot of play and free time, it appears that one of the biggest issues was that he was not in sync with his peer group at all anymore, and he was bored even with the play centers. His teachers never noticed because he is such an easy going child most of the other kids like, but at home, he would act up in the mornings (not wanting to go)... and at night, we could not get him to bed before 10 because he wanted us to read books on all random topics all the time and just was not tired. It was like suddenly a switch was thrown at 3.5. He *loved* his 3s room at the start, but rapidly outgrew it. So we finally pushed to move him to pre-k a few months later - and immediately, he became friends with the 5 year olds (pre-k and k classes mixed a lot, and both teachers noticed that he was bonding with the oldest kids). But that was a big problem... because it meant at the end of the summer, when he turned 4, they would all be gone (to elementary schools)...
So we ended up placing him into a private gifted school that starts at 3-4 (his current class is 4-5 year olds). And he is so happy - our big struggle nowadays is getting him to leave at the end of the day. The biggest part of his happiness is that the teachers move at the kids pace, and they do play a lot (1 hour long recess every day, tons of center time and book time) - and having peers that he can relate to and talk to. They do not do grades in the early years (i.e. there is no kindergarten, first grade) but place the kids into the groups that fits them. We went to that school not for academics but for the peer group and environment that would work best for DS. We had not realized how much of a difference it would be - but DS now goes to bed at a normal time, and he bounces into the school, excited, every single day.
DD is now 2, and she is more social and more verbal (she will let you know very loud and clear what she does and does not want) - and I don't think she will tolerate the 3s room without running into the same issues we had with DS (boredom and lack of peers to hang out with). So we are planning to move her to a Montessori school where she will be the youngest in the 3-5 year old room (the school we have in mind runs it in a way that I feel will mesh with DD's personality), and then either have her in there for 2 years then move to DS's school or if she shows the same signs of getting frustrated with the other children or class in the new school, then we will most likely move her to DS's school earlier, when she is 4.
Basically - in a nutshell, we have dropped our original plans to go through public schools mostly because of the age cutoff and we are focusing on the best fit for them where they are thriving and with a peer group they can relate to. We are big into books and following what the kids want to do at home (DS - legos, vehicles, dinosaurs and DD is totally into dolls, babies, and art). So at home - we doodle at the dinner table, play with toys, read whatever books they want - if DS wants to read himself, we let him and if he wants us to read, we read. We try to do a lot of physical activity as a family when weather permits on the weekends (bike or walk to park, go to playgrounds around the area, swim lessons).
Last edited by notnafnaf; 11/06/14 08:17 AM.
